Phobia in love.

2009-08-18T04:14:00.001-07:00

Hello people! i've moved to
http://redlover.onsugar.com/
THANK YOU =)

180809

2009-08-17T19:03:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to robin notiboy ! (;

Sometimes Somehow , i dont feel lyk meeting anyone anymore .
Either nt to talk anymore . I just wanna be alone .
&& to lock myself into a empty room .
I rly dk what to do .
Idk why will i feel lyk this .

G.Morning (; Now adays , i feel blogger is damn sucks ! Idk why , cant even post any pictures . Something's wrong w blogger ! It making me frustrated more . Ok well , i think i shall switch to onsugar or livejournal soon . Same goes to friendster . Keep showing 'Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage' follow by msn/hotmail . So tell me wth/f ?! Somemore the weather is damn hot damn f-c-u-k !! (anger) Seriously , im getting more & more hatred towards sun/sunlights ! I hate sun I hate during daylight - lights , really . Ok , shall nt mention about . Im sorry for ytd people who msg or talk to me . I was nt in the mood , so didnt reply . I dont feel lyk talking && faces anyone . Ps. Asap for kenneth bro , i did replied/msg him all the way till i fall asleep . (: yet now , we still continue messaging ==' LOLS . :D

Kelvin want me to help him to create a blog . :B but , it was totally sucks ! Previously or the last times , i do know how to . But , it seems lyk everythings which i have forgotten . Stm* ps. Anw , friends who know him . Please tag his blog . Thanks . {: http://kelvinczy.blogspot.com/

Qingmu didi - Get well soon ! (;
Kenneth bro - Cheerups ^^

Well , here came im helping damian to advertisement .
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170809

2009-08-17T02:45:00.001-07:00

=(
NO MOOD/MOODY!
(depressed)

went Simei General Hospital - SGH* again .....

160809

2009-08-15T20:19:00.000-07:00

♥'Ahda bro - Arghs !! Ohmy , thanks alots mans ! ;D
Shijie bro - Get well soon ! (;
Yongkang br0 - Cheerups lahs !

140809

2009-08-13T16:39:00.000-07:00

SHAKER FRIES ! (SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE)

Goodmorning People (;
Well , am going to meet my classmates ltr again . :D
L-O-V-E , them so much !♥

Alright, shall stop here luh.
takecares peeps(!)

to be continue .....

LOLS . :D

Hellos peepos , am back ! (;
3pm meet alan , guolong laopa , weichiang && huiling deardear/laogong
at somewhr nearby my house of the busstop . After that ,
went to market to accompany them eat . .....
Meet ciwei at alan house voiddeck around 3pm plus , if im nt wrong .
.. 4/5pm plus , took bus80 to cityhall . ... Went marina.S to book tickets for
movie (Up *In 3D*) slacking at arcade ..... 7pm , went kfc for dinner .
After dinner , went for a slack . 9.20pm , catch a moive . ... After all , the moive
end at around 11.15pm . .. Cab home w huiling deardear/laogong .

Cheerups people !!

Alright, shall stop here fr my short post.
Night!

130809

2009-08-12T19:47:00.000-07:00

I Love Challenging ! :D

Goodmorning People (; hmmm .. Last night was tgt conversation w guolong laopa , alan && weichiang bro in msn . (: ... Finally can get to msn w melvin erzi ! ;D (happy) i miss him so much ! He is lyk missing-in-action in a moment time or maybe sometimes ==' quite a strange of him . Hahaha. Well , while last night was on phone w zeke misses . His Manly ang mo voice ! ;DD muhahahas ^^ was quite hardly to communicate w him ); Cos' he is speaking in english , he nvr used to speak in chinese . Lols . Ok , i can speak both . But , most often i speak in chinese . Habit* I seldom speak in english . Ohs , so my english is getting worst plus sucks && broken english somemore ! Yet , i love fluent english . D: eversince 2007 yr' graduate frm secondary till now , i have forgotten so much words . Some english words i know/rmb , yet i forgotten so much ! ): ewww .. Well , some of my friends said that im ok or quite well speaking in english . But , they say is just that while im speaking in english lyk very anxious . So that i speak lyk half-half-half or full stop full stop in it . Ehs . I think the same toos . I think i need some tuitions for myself ? Maybe i need someone to tuition me ! Am i too lame or a quite lame in it ? Haas . I guess so .

♥Ok well , Genia && Genie ..... I have replied in genie msn . The instant msg . Please go to take a look . Hope after this all which i could explain to get well/recover in btw us . {:

Alright, shall stop here luh.
Ltr am gonna meet my classmate for thy dinner.
takecares peepos(!)

people change way too much too fast.....

to be continue.....

Ohmy , OMG alan ! ;D 1 - cutepost . 2 - he is going for hunt !! Hahaha.
=.=" the rest pic are so dots , lols .....

Hello People , am back ! Fk , 4pm plus was raining !
I hate raining during went out as in omw going out ! Damn it !
Somemore the weather is fking damn hot ! Cant even stand it !
I hate sweat lors . =( F-C-U-K_THE_W-E-A-T-H-E-R ! (unhappy)
Well , 5pm meet guolong laopa at bedok . After that ,
we took bus2 to simei ite to meet alan && weichiang bro .
Then we took bus2 back to bedok ==' Reaching*
Having our bubble tea && taking our own sweet time to walk to library to slack .
Finally , AIRCON ! Cool !! ;D LOLS . :D sometimes ,
i cant even stand them . They are so funny . Having so much
jokes . Haas . ..... 7.20pm around , went to kopitiam for our dinner .
8pm plus , went to ntuc for a walk . After all , went to slack somewhr around .
Waiting fr huiling deardear/laogong . .. While time is running up
to 10pm . Deardear reaching . So slacking awhile ltr , homesweethome . (:

Alrights ! (; shall stop right here luhs .
Nights ! Sweetdreams, w loves';D

120809

2009-08-11T17:52:00.000-07:00

You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you down Oh, I see.
I will wait.
&& try again & again.
Or maybe I won't.
I am not sure.
I am in two minds about this.
^
I think.

Goodmorning People ! (; ytd 4pm plus , xiaoen childhood playmate call me to have a smoke awhile w lydia , xnas(her darling) && one korean girl . (: Cool*

I getting restless now adays );
Well , ltr gonna went down simei genaral hospital ...
Follow by bugis .. Or maybe after that , raffles place ?
Shag ~ My hp prepaid is low . How how how ??
I miss msg w someone , yet i finally know/realised that i get a fool by last night .
Such a foolish i am ! && i swear this one last time i wont
fall into trip again , DUMBNESS !! (revenge)
Too bad , luckily i nvr get to fall too deep ! :D
&& Thanks for your sweet-talk .
Thanks for all of you hongster guys/boys , so much brilliant !
But sucks ! ;D Hahaha.

Hello People , just back on phone w zeke misses (;
Meet weichiang bro at aljunied mrt station by 5pm around .
So mrt down to simei of the genaral hospital .
After that , going to bugis . Was so f!king mans !
Got one lao-cb auntie bang until me so hard
&& nt even turn back to say a sorry .
Nb . Wth/f ?! I was so innocent get bang for reason !
Idk that lao-cb is purposely or nt ?
But , as i think is purposely .
If it an apology/apologise , it would be ok lahs !
But is just none ! So tell me wtf was it was ?!
If it was you ? Well , i shall stop mention about this .
It make me unhappy or anger again .
While was in the trian w bro chitchatting ,
reaching lavendar . Was so considence we met till
miss jacq ! ;D so both of us chat w her while next stop we
will be droping out at bugis station . .....
6pm plus , accompany bro eat his dinner . ...
7pm plus around , I Guess . Bro accompany me to
take bus80 home . .. Went sk awhile . Follow by accompany
weichiang bro to wait for his bus64 . (:

Alright, shall stop here le.
Night!

110809

2009-08-10T09:56:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to charmaine sweety ! (;

Seriously , idl/dosent lyks vulgar ! I hate it so much !!

Arghs !! Above of the group photo my face looks damn freakin' hell ! ):

Goodmorning people, the time now is 105am.
Am so tired. I think im getting insomnia.
Wanna sleep, but i just couldnt sleep );

6.40pm around , meet nicole mei at aljunied mrt station .
Tgt went marnia.S to find alan , guolong laopa && weichiang bro .
.. Accompany them slack at subway to wait for the time to 8pm .
Cos' alan && guolong laopa have a interview at k-box .
Awhile ltr , huiling deardear/laogong coming .
&& awhile ltr , while time is running up to 8pm .
Both of them , alan && guolong laopa went in . ...
=.= they interview lyk almost 30mins .
After finally they end thier interview .
So all the way we'r sitting at the subway chitchatting till
tims is running up to 10pm . LOLS . :D
We was lyk sitting there at the subway shop was about 1/2hrs' plus ,
if im nt wrong . After that , we walk to somewhr near to
the raffles place mrt of the old market/hawker there to eat .
..... While time is running up to 11pm , nicole mei cab home .
So , the five of us mrt home . Thanks alan to accompany me home . (:

To guosheng - idk whether if you happen to see my blog-post . i hope you dont mind . to mind us me , alan , guolong laopa , weichiang bro && huiling deardear to say you right just now . you say that you have some reason ? no ? i think all are just an excuses . all we are just saying , talking about , is for your own good . we worrying && caring about you . do you know ? otherwise , we wouldnt bother about eu . if others friends/people , they wont bother about whether you choose to be walking to the death rd rather than a good advise ? i wonder just now while i was on phone w you , did you hear me ? did you listen in ? i hope those words can get into your head to open your mind to think about it . thanks .

Alright, shall stop here le.
Nights(!)

i just hoping one day i can be w someone who i love or somebody else to watch fireworks tgt .....

Another morning agian (;
Well , im so happy/glad for you ~~both~~ . While i read some fews sentence in your blog-post . I found ~~both~~ of you has changed pretty fast . ~~Both~~ of eu are changing in good ways . && learn so much new things in life . I love it so much . Seriously i love . && i miss , i miss the ~~both~~ of you right now . But the most in a previously that i miss alots , the moment we spent , we used to be closed , that we used to be had so much fun . Yet , now is gone . We'll nvr going to have those day again . Will we have those days back again ? I rmb the 1st time 1st met , ~~both~~ of eu give me the impression of bad . No , i was wrong . While i get to know the ~~both~~ of you . It wasnt . ~~Both~~ of you are quite friendly & much funny about for me . :D Im so happy && gladful to get to you all ..... But now , on that day . I came realised another part of us was gone . I found somethings it stranger && weird in btw us . Why ? Why would this be happened ? Do you know , it hurts me ? I was rly very upset about . I keep on asking myself why && why agian ...
Sigh );

When you'r weary, feeling small.
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all.
Im on your side. When times get rough.
&& friends just cant be found.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

When you'r down & out.
When you'r on the street.
When evening falls so hard.
I will comfort you.
I'll take your part.
When darkness comes.
&& pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.

Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
Im sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.

No matter what troubles up your mind. Or one day if you feels or needed someone to talk to. I will always be there for you. I willing to be a small lil' ears, if you need help. I will try to lead my best if able. Rmb, im here.{:
(come back to me)

All the best !

100809

2009-08-09T18:52:00.000-07:00

Goodmorning People ! (; 7pm plus ytd meet nicole beloved mei , huiyee babe && one of her friend jonathan at cityhall station . .. 7.30pm around , meet weichiang bro at marina.S mac outside . Wtf ?! So much crowded people & is also a huge people squeezing around . Went out smoking tgt && was so concidence that we met till yaolong , weilun & his gf . Awhile ltr , went up to the foodcourt to accompany nicole mei , huiyee babe && jonathan for thier dinner . Actually , thought that im going to watch the fireworks . && yet , endup at foodcourt eating ); :(sad): ok well , is should be ok . After having thier dinner , tgt we went down of the mac outside the grass there to have our picnic ==' LOLS . :D ... Around 9pm plus , if im nt wrong . Ricky daddy coming along w his two friends . .... Was so concidence met till nelson bro ! ;D he is waiting for his gf alone . {: ..... Meet genia && genie awhile . ... 11pm plus , weichiang bro && jonathan accompany huiyee babe to wait for a cab . So i accompany nicole mei && two of her friends go boatquay the pub to have a drink . ............ While time is running up to 2am . Tgt cab home . (:

Alright, shall stop here le.
takecares peeps(!)

I was so upset, why? Friends are changing. Especially my loves' one . They'd changed so fast & alots. && thier nt the one that i know as we used/closed as before. I feel so stranger in btw us.. Please tell me wth happening? I wanna know. Cos' i'd still Cares', i wanna get back the past. But, i know is impossible..... (i rmb the time what we used to be had):

090809

2009-08-08T18:25:00.000-07:00

Old pic!190209
Am always a miss lil' late. Im missing back the past. How i wish, How i wish i could. Wondering if what would the past times nvr changed.....

Happy Happy birthday to ours singapore , Happy national day !

Goodmorning People (; Dozing* Was so tired );
Ltr around 6pm plus , am going to meet so my
nicole beloved mei , xiaovan loves' mei & weichiang bro
at cityhall station . For fireworks . Others than that , nt comfirm .
Maybe going to look out for serence sweetloves
nor genia && genie w friends . (: Or maybe also
a huge people ? Well , shall see how ltr on .
Shag ! I miss cheryl baobei mei . D:

zw, im sorry. i wish i could telling you the truth. yet it isnt the time. i just dont love you anymore. i just wanna to be a very good friend or and a very good sister/bro w you. i dosent mean others. dont think too much anw. stop affect your mood. left 3month more, hope to seek for your understanding.

Alright, shall stop here le.
takecares peeps(!)

080809

2009-08-07T19:46:00.000-07:00

Goodmorning People ! (;
Day by day , past pretty fast .
Ohya , anw i forget to tell all of you about one good news .
I lose down 2kg le . :D im so gladful mans ! ;D
But , dont be too happy/excited for it hors ?
Otherwise , i will be gaining back more );
Hahaha. Anw , im still glad about it . (:
I love it !! Keep it up , HUILI ! Haas .
I wanna slim down just for one more kg , is enough .
My target fr my weight is 40kg !
JIAYOU for myself HUILI !!
muhahahas.....
Sian . Tmr plan maybe is going marina.S or the esplanade ?
Ohs , Who wanna go ? Those who wanna go , please text me .
Thanks . {:

WAS SO FUSTRATED MANS !
MY HP PREPAID LOW , UNDERSTAND PEOPLE ?!
NEED ME EXPLAIN OR TELL YOU ALL HOW MANY TIMES UHS ?!
I HAVE BEEN TELLING , KEEP ON TELLING AGAIN && AGAIN .
YET I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY SOME OF YOU GUYS KEEP
ON PESTERING ME ?! FUCK IT ! DAMN IT !
STOP ASKING FOR MY NUM !!

070809

2009-08-06T10:28:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to jieqiang notiboy ! :D

Goodmorning people, the time now is 130am.
Soon i will be off to sleep, after this.
Damn damn damn, bloody hell tiring ! );

7pm plus , meet shiming darling && her bf at aljunied mrt station .
Haahs , it been such a long times didnt met alr ((:
Hmmm .. 8pm plus , tgt mrt down to clarkequay station to
meet huiyee babe , samantha sweety , alan , weichiang bro , guosheng && alloycious . :D
Aft gather , whn over my work place pub to drink . Alloycious treat .
Hahaha. ..... Shiming dar her bf drunk . ... So troubles that he drunk lyk hell .
.. Ltr awhile , shiming dar have to go home le . Otherwise , she will get it by her parents .
So all of us help her to look after him . Takecares & handle of him , but he =.=
While time is running up to 12am . Separate cab .
So weichiang bro cab two of them home first , huiyee babe && dar bf .
So me , alan && guosheng took another cab to home . (:

Alright, shall stop here le.
Nights! Sweetdreams, w loves';D

Im tired, im tired of everything else in life. I hate the lies that life holds && the things that dont make any sense. Im tired...

Im Tired of everything..

Hello People, im back!
5 Quick Post!
2pm plus , meet weichiang bro .
After that , 3pm plus meet ciwei at aljunied station .
Accompany them to polyclinic .
Around 5pm , went to aljunied market to eat .
After all , they accompany to my house voiddeck for slacking awhile .

takecares peeps(!)

060809

2009-08-05T23:48:00.000-07:00

Drink, Drank, Drunk..

I feel so hangover );

050809

2009-08-04T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hello People , "wo yao chang xia qu!!!!!" LOLS . :D

Peeps, is 300am again.
I think soon i will be off to sleep.
What a tired day, What a hot day! Damn it!:D

I dont understand usually now adays are such a damns hot weather .
Summer day , I Guess . While i was going to work .
Concidence met w xnas . (: was so shag today !
Sian . There is no customer for today );
Quite boring enough . Only just slacking ,
chitchatting , drink , snacks && smoke . ... 1am closing .

Alright, shall stop here for a small post.
Sweetdreams;D

Thanks adrian for your concern . {:

Thanks to my friends concern , i know this is not a proper job for me .
But , what you all know ? Say that you understood me ? My feelings ?
Or situation ? No . You'll nvr understand.
I know that life is getting hard for me .
Dosent mean all ever i wanted ? Is my family problems w finance .

Hellos Hellos Hellos ?! Is there any supporter for me ?!
Hey Guys/People (; please , Do support me @ 17 Muhammad sultan rd at nextphrase pub ! Thanks . (: Hope to seeyou sooner uhs .
W Loves'

Guys/Boys is so hard or easily to get trust .
They used to be cheat or a lie !
Not every world of the guy cant be trusted ?
No , i dont believe it . Cos' i know .
Dont get a trick by them . && dont get easily trip and fall .

040809

2009-08-03T11:35:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to xiaocus didi ! (;

Goodmorning people, the time now is 300am.
I think soon i will be off to sleep.
What a tired day, What a hot day! Damn it!:D

Today was my 1st day of working in pub .
&& is also my 1st day of experience .
Was quite anxious . But , quite fine w it .
Thank to my childhood playmate for introduce me thy job . {:
While , serving one of the table of the two customer .
Chitchatting && drinking w them .
I learned quite lots of meaningful things/life , which they told me .
The uncle told me to love myself && to have confidence in myself .
Must live my life w happily , then your life will be wonderful .
"let bygones be bygones and dont obsess over the past".
Thanks to the customer pizza & the talks anw .
..... 1am around . Closing . After that , cab home w lydia .

Alright, shall stop here for my short lil' post!
Sweetdreams;D

Get well soon , shijie bro !

Anw Guys/People (; Do support me @ 17 Muhammad sultan rd at nextphrase pub , please ! Thanks . (: Hope to seeyou sooner uhs .
W Loves'

030809

2009-08-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to elwin ! (;

A Quick Post!
Goodafternoon People (; have a date w huiyee babe at cityhall ytd nights . :D
Ohs , i looks damn cui/freaking hell now adays w my fringe ! ):
My fringe is growing longer . Maybe i dosent suit long fringe ?
But ytd while went home , i go to have a treat to cut my fringe a lil' by myself .

Oh, my dear lovely girls!D:
Huiyee babe , Genie && Genia - Cheerups please ! Dont think too much . Everything is gonna be alrights/fine . {:

020809

2009-08-01T19:01:00.000-07:00

I dont understand why do i look so 'cui' in ytd && pic . D;

Thanks to them . {:

Goodmorning , People ! (; was so happily ytd can get to meet my cheryl baobei mei ! ;D
6.30pm around meet her , weicong , perry && nick at yishun of northpoint the soul garden for dinner . Such a hot summer day ytd ! (unhappy) ... 8pm plus around , I Guess . We went over somewhr under-voideck to slack . 10pm around , finally can get to see jiahau lil' boss ! Hahaha. he manage came w one of his friend jiaming to meet me awhile then went off =.=" Stubborn guys . LOLS . :D .. While time was running up to 11pm . Huggies w my her ^^ ..... Somewhr near to my house , while im omw to home . So concidence meet till jianliang . (:

Hmmm .. Quite a long nvr get to see my baobei mei luhs . Idk wth happening to her . Sigh ~
:(STOP DOING THAT FOOLISH, PLEASE!):
Promises*

Huiyee babe-ytd was so sorry sorry about that i haven have a mood to reply msg . && my hp prepaid is low . I apologise );
&&
Sorry for some people which i nvr reply , hope to seek for your understanding . Ps.

010809

2009-07-31T17:50:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Afiq ! :D
&&
Happy birthday to sherman !! ;D

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope i had the time of my life.

Ohs , my fav.idol of "TOHOSHINKI!" LOLS . :D This video is about 3yrs' plus ago , if am nt wrong . Quite lame as you all think , I Guess . Anw , is cute de OK ?!
Im so in love w them ! Has been 1 yrs' plus , i came back to them .
I miss them so much ); Esp for my beloved only one jejoong ; he's cool mans ! ;D
Enjoy , after watching . Please give me a comments , thanks . (: x33333

310709

2009-07-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Ajib ! ;D

In my life , i came so many experience in eyes . I can see so much different things , as i been or went through so much . I realised , everythings in this world is realistic is a fact . For every each steps i take i walk , i fall && learned . So i'll see , i understand i knew .

Gangster ? Play shirts ? For those are just brainless type would play or join this kind of childish && kids things . Sometimes i dont get it , I dont understand why ! For some people to your ownself goods ? To make yourself to feel proud ? Does it make you feel proud or big name in it ? No ! Is a dumbness/stupid ! It only make your ownself looks so shameless/low in it , more worst then it . Ohs , It such a poor/pitiful or a fool for these kids . {: "MIND THIS SENTENCE , FOR ALL THOSE GANG-STER IS OUTDATED ! ;D" But Sara told me - depends actually some really big timer . Well , this sentence make some sense to me . Anyway , i hates to mix w those kind of bad company .

Secrets are no fun . Secrets hurt someone . Ofcourse everyone do does have a secrets by ownself . In a moment of weakness (a mistake) But I kept it a secret . Soon enough I found , Secrets have a way of getting out . Secrets cant be kept . I confess a crime against my life . My loneliness is punishment enough . Forgiveness is Define . Everyone keeps secrets sometimes .

Do we have a purpose ? Is a question one will often ask . Is there a higher power out there, some greater task ? The truth will hurt many , not only a few . People have a hard time dealing w that which is true . There is nothing greater that watches your back . Deal w it , stop crying && build your own stack . You are responsible for the life that you lead . It is not someone else’s fault when you dont get what you need . If one wants the stars , they must be grabbed by one’s own hand . Nothing in life is freely given there is no promised land .

So the question remains , why are we here ? For those w/o faith , the answer is painfully clear . We live only for today && if we are lucky tmr . To us there is no afterlife , but that brings us no sorrow . Self improvement is our main goal & it starts in the here & now . We refuse to be filled w illusions of grandeur && get fat off them like a cow . The best of us seek improvement in every area we can . W/o the proper balance of self there can be no complete human-being .

Wisdom is for the wise && that is one of the things we strive to be . Vision in what was once blind , reality is what we wish to see . The past can lend us wisdom if we choose to open our eyes . Sadly for the masses it is easier to stomach soothing lies . Self-improvement starts w vision & vision is the key to all . Vision gives us the gift of truth , but few can handle it && many fall . For us lucky few who can handle truth , the road is bright ahead . We strive for perfection , but get betterment instead .

Strength is another goal that we fight hard to seek . We know that in the end nothing will be given the weak . To be great in life one must be strong . The meek shall inherit nothing , their reign never long . Sadly power can taint & if that happens , destroy . Power is not for the weak of mind , but it can be a joy . Might may try it’s hardest but it can never honestly make right . Though it is important to note that history is written by the victor of a fight . Though it can be bad , strength is a tremendously important tool . On the path of self-improvement you will meet many a fool . Too many people cannot handle truth & they will try & eliminate the source . So if you are strong enough , they can never make you change course .

Self-improvement may be the main but there is another that is key . Procreation is the natural drive of life , for you && for me . In truth , there is only one way after death to live on . && that is through procreation , the creation of your spawn . Children are your life force && they make you feel wonderfully alive . They give focus to your chaos && motivation for your drive . W/o children a person is never whole . They lack an essential ingredient , that one special role . Nothing can fill the void except when a child is put in the space . Their life lends you power , there is magic in their face .

I have answered the question , though some may not like what I have said . I smile && wave them goodbye , for I know the truth in their stead . I cannot force vision on the masses , but I will forever strive to try . My gift of vision is for those who want to see through life’s lie . I once was blind but now I see . However , it wasnt god that did this for me . I walked the path of self-improvement w my own two feet . Due to this fact I can never be beat . I can deal w just about any problem that can come my way . When times get tough I dont get on my knees && pray . I deal w whatever comes at me while standing proud . I refuse to settle for mediocrity I will always stand out in a crowd .

Life is hard , that is a fact that people have to understand . && ofcourse there are times when you need a helping hand . No people is an island && I totally agree . My problem lies w people who only want to lean on me . When you never hold yourself up , you deny yourself improvement . If you let your muscles atrophy , then you can never have positive movement . A life w/o a child & w no betterment is a life wasted . That is a life that was smelt && looked at but never tasted . I have given you enough wisdom to ponder for the day . Question everything or forever frozen you’ll stay .

the full title is "The Truth to The Meaning of Life."
WARNING, THIS POEM CONTAINS ATTACKS AGAINST RELIGION. IF EU ARE A VERY RELIGIOUS PERSON I ADVISE EU TO NOT READ THIS PIECE.
it is not my goal to offend people. however, I have my opinion && I have just as much right t express it as anyone else. if you do not listen to the warning & you read the poem & become offended by it I will feel no guilt. not listening to the warning makes it your fault if you get mad. if you want to attack what I say in this post, do me a favor && note me instead of putting it in a comment. if you really think the post is bad I would love to hear why so as always, critiques are welcome!:D

this piece is about what I feel to be the true meaning of life. whoever decides to read it I hope you enjoy it && please put a comment about the post. I cannot know where I among my peers of poets unless they give me feed back. Thanks.(:

当你的命运是好或者还是坏
命运中注定是不可能改变的是

Hello People , it 0933 now .
4.30pm plus was on phone w qiwen notiboy . (:
Finally i can get a chance to post a lil';D
Can tell that i frm 8pm plus around switch on my com
till now can get to release .
Dk why today is so much people msn w me .
Was fking busying ! ): once online ,
so many people msn w me till now .
I cant even get to do my things/stuff !
All chatting w me at the same timing ,
making me so confused && blur .
Dont even know what i type or they type .
WTH/F lors . =(

Alright, shall stop a lil' complaining post now.
Nights ! ;D

Tmr plan - meet cheryl mei , weicong , perry && jiahua
Sun plan - meet huiyee babe
Mon plan - Maybe working

300709

2009-07-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

the hardest goodbye

are you hiding
like the way I do?

Ihaveacrushonyou

If I walk the seas.
would I be able to reach you.
I will give you all of my heart
when I meet you.
While walking along this path,
if you happen to see me.
Please accept my hello.

Goodafternoon People ! (;
Shag ! Now adays , i dont understand it .
I dont understand why was it was ?
I dont understand why keep quarrel w my mum ?!
Damn it ! Sometimes , i felt that my life is so fragile so weak .
'Life in frames' Well, you can figure it out by yourself what I mean w it ! (;

Alan , jiayou for today ! ;D
Aloy-songsu , no lazy (; update your blog !! Muhahahas ! :D

Alright, shall stop here for posting!
takecares peeps(!)

So random , i just happen to found this pic in my com
:(overdue-pic, know it gone_is over. is the past joys we had tgt, goodbyes:)

Im so drown so down
Im so tired tired over it now
It killing me myself
I tried to smile just a lil'
Tried to make myself happy
I really tried not to cry
For the first time
But i just had to stop myself
Couldn’t see the happiness in me
Why?! Why have this happened to me?!
Why am i suffer like this?
I can’t take that much can't take it anymore
I have enough what I’ve been through
So why am i heart ache?
I really tried to smile
Sometimes . Once i flashback my soul . I felt so lost && missed . I miss my past . I miss my past life . But , i've lost everything now . If it wouldnt me . Everythings wont be now or today . It was fault . I bring the burdens to my parents . Im sorry . I really dk how am i going face to tell . I only can express everything at here . Im so sorry . I apologise..
Im sitting here alone . Idk what or how am i going to do . I dont even know how to handle my life , everythings . Confession...
I think i need sometimes by my own by myself.....

300709

2009-07-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

MAMA! PLEASE!! PLEASE STOP NAGGING AT ME! I HAVE ENOUGH!

Sometimes , In every-people life is fortune .
Good things & words are kept . Bad things & words are spread as whole world to know . (why?)

a long long walking.
lights & noises.
what a tired day.

I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink
I'm so tired, my mind is on the blink
I wonder should I get up && fix myself a drink?

It's summer but it's crazy weather everyday...
Sometime is really f!king weather.
Instead of wearing tank tops, I feel lyks wearing long sleeves..
=.= What's up?! Global warming? Hahaha.
Right now, as obvious. Im at the point of
experimentation w my stuff. Somemore quite busy.
New series coming sooooon (hopefully coming by next week)
Majors have been nothing but 'HELL!'

weeman(cousin)

Hello People , has been alone for the whole day . Can say that . Cos' sometimes i was thinking to be alone for independents ..... 2pm plus today . Went to my grandma house w my bro . Until it was time about to 4pm . Went bugis area round to seek for a job . Yet , there isnt any job vacancy . Not a moment ?! Wtf ! ): so , was around 6pm . Heading to cityhall , continue to seek again . While time was nearly to 7pm . Weichiang bro came to accompany me . ............ Finally ! We get in a interview ! ;D (happy) Ohs , tmr alan is going to have his driving test ! Hopefully he can pass !! Haas . Now am texting msg to him .

Msg for Alan-Wish you good luck for your tmr test ! (; rmb , got to have confidence in yourself uhs . {: all the best for all ! ;D may god bless you !

Alright, shall stop here luh.
Night!

290709

2009-07-28T07:38:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to samuel didi ! (;

Do you know im hiding?
You could see me right through now im smileing,
but you wouldnt know im nt even.....

It midnight now...
Sometimes , how i wish i could die in my sleep . && nvr ever would awake . So that i can rest in peace . Could this be happen ? I wonder if one day coming ? Maybe there is a illusion of sleeping pills ? Hmmm .. But i just want a small request , can i ?

Alright, shall stop here luh.
I also dosent know what am i typing now.
Sigh ~ Night!

F the world ! :D
Believe my lies. See not my ways. Or how i spend my tourture filled days.
Im tired i state, but you know not. I feel like im incredibly bought.
Im fake && plastic w nothing of mine. I cant do anything by myself, but im just a blank line.
I fail && fall in too the darkest depression. I get to the point where i causes self-opression.
Eventually i will sleep, in blissful slumber & time will only be a number.

I often use the excuse that im tired or my brain hurts for situations that i, well, dont know how to handle. I always want to sleep thru the pain or take some advil for a pretend headache so people will leave me alone && right now... im in a hard situation..

Morning People . Ytd evening time , am actually meeting my xiaovan loves' mei .
Yet cancel off , nvr meet le . Sigh ~ i wondering what has happening .
What has happened in my life , right now ? My life is so complicated !
I could realised everythings , if i rewind or to think back the times & the days .
Is being too late now && ever . Everything's changed .
I dont wanna to bring everyone burdens .
I wanna apologise for those whom i owe them alots . Im really sorry .
I know im a bad girl bad person . Im a rotten ! Hais ! How i wish , How i missed .....
Im totally stucking . Im totally confused . Im totally depressed . I regret . I confess .
Dosent mean all now i can release those wrong && mistake on me ?
Dosent mean god can release all painless && forgiveness on me ?
What i have done is over , is all given punishment on me now .
All the broken dreams take everything . But they can nvr have ytd .
2 evil people has gone in my life . What they get on me & walk away ,
im sure one day they will get a double stabber .
"Rainbow appears once in a blue moon ; cherish it ! (;"
moody/no mood
Sigh ~ Now adays was so hardly been through my days .
Idk why am i getting easily frustrated && keep on throwing
my hot/bad-tempered . Almost quarrel w mom everyday .
Im sorry to xinli , weixuan goodfriend && arron if i giving
you acttitude . Hope to seek for your understanding .

280709

2009-07-27T17:05:00.000-07:00

♥ Hellos to My Loves' ! (; Happy Birthday ! ;D ♥♥♥♥♥♥The two lovely twins !!♥♥♥♥♥
(thanks for being there for me while all the moment whn i need eu)
Happy birthday my friends/sisters***Genie & Genia
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
It's such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
&& may all both of your dreams come true

♡♡♡

&& Happy birthday to aaron ! (;

to all of my dearest friends (Adrain , Ahda bro , Alan , Alexiis mei , Andy , Boyer , Cheryl baobei mei , Deric , Esther , Genie , Genia , Guolong laopa , Huiling deardear/laogong , Huiyee babe , Joey best buddy , Liyi beebee , Marcus , Melvin erzi , Nicole beloved mei , Peiyun , Perry , Potato , Ricky daddy , Sara , Serene sweetloves' , Shelton didi , Shijie bro , Shiyin mei , Stanley-skinny , Tiffany qingren , Weichiang bro , Weicong , Weixuan goodfriend , Xiaohao notiboy , Xiaovan loves' mei , Xiaoen' childhood playmate , Xnas , Yangboon notiboy , Zeke misses') - thanks so much for all your warm , heartfelt & comforting words . && for simply being here for me . I'm deeply touched (tears) && am slowly smiling again . All your kindness has reminded me again how much i have to be thankful & grateful for . && has meant to me more than you'ld know . Lovesyou all && the ** biggest & tightest hugs* to all of you , my dearest friends . xoxoxoxoxo... ^^

Goodmorning People ! (; Dozing ..... Super-tired ! D;
Was so bored , right now . Haahs , was msn w starboy . {:
Ohs , was so poor/pity for him . Hmmm ..
Hopefully , they will give you a short probation ending date earlier . (:
Last night , was so buysing msn w people . ...
After that , was on phone w shiwen . Follow by arron .
..... Idk why am i now adays keep automactically awake damn early .
I wanna get back to sleep for sometimes . But it hard .
I dont get it , really . Even i wanna search or to find out the reason why .
Such a weird i am , right ? Hahaha.
&& am now adays are getting more easily frustrated .
I just couldnt/dk why i am ! I felt that
my depressed are getting more && more worsen .
Im so stressing , stressing about money-working && some others
thing of myself . Soon i guess , i will be in imh . LOLS . :D
Keep on quarrel w my mom . She cant stand me whn i getting
angry/frustrated . Well , is aint all my fault ok ?
I know that i have a bad or a hot tempered . Sorry .
Sometimes , she is really unreasonable ok ?
Keep on nagging non-stop , i cant stand her !
Even i try to control my tempered ,
trying to ignore her . && she keep on nagging while
nobody ignore her also . Somehow , do you know it damn irritating ?
She still say wanna send me to Singapore-Girls-Home ? Wth/f ?!
What i done ? I just having a bad tempered then endup needs to
send me to s-g-h ? Need to be so serious ?
Ohs , I think this is so crazy . Ok well , i shall stop mention all
about this . (unhappy)

Anw , lastly i got to thankto sara && joseph .....

Once conform , once do what other people do .
Cos' they do it && a lethargy steals over all
the finer nerves & faculities of the soul .

Peepos ! (Thy day)250709 picture!:D

on the twins birthday chalet . {: (purposely faces-maker) muhahahas ^^
Oh, that day of the pic i look so freaking hell man!):
*the ugly faces/pic in meD;

Alright, shall stop here for my preparation.
takecares peeps(!)

270709

2009-07-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

=(
im B-R-O-K-E ! I need a job badly ! D:
Hellos ?! Anyone have job intro ?

Could you see the tears ?
If only you see the tears im crying on my pillow.....

I sit on my bed && I weep
I'm tired && I just can't sleep
too much in my head
thoughts that I can not shed
not even with paper & ink
...so tired..

260709

2009-07-25T11:16:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my loves' , advance ! ;D

Goodmorning people, the time now is 233am.
Hahaha. Soon i will be off to sleep, after this.
Damn tired/tiring!);

&&Ohno, just now i found it my wound nt even 3!
2moreD;

Actually , im starting to on my com frm around 1am .
Until now , i then started to post .
Cos' im all the way msn w around 10people =.="
It keep me waiting till now . Bth*
I cant even get to do my stuff .
Hmmm .. Just now while i was otw to genia && genie chalet .
At aljunied mrt station met till edmund .
LOLS . :D as first , i thought who was it siol ?!
Why does the person keep on staring or follow me ?
Haahs , i couldnt regonise it's him after he came to me ((:
Was so concidence . So we chitchat till stop at bedok station .
He drop off . ..... Reaching pasirris-dt-east chalet to have fun tgt .
I rly hope both of you will lyk it the small lil' hands of art works
which is made . ... 10.30pm around , cutting cake .
After having the cakes , homesweethome ! (;
Ohs , Too bad that chunhao notiboy didnt come .

Alright, shall stop her for posting.{:
More pic will be upload by another day !
Nights ! Sweetdreams, w loves';D

Another morning people !
Bloody hell tiring ! (;
After finally get t turn off my com last night .
While i get up the chair , my whole body was
full of painless . Damn pain && tired of my whole body . D:
Maybe was i fall in thy morning causes started to pain . Hais !
Walking also pain toos . I feel so uncomfortable ! ):
Somemore having my gastric toos . Tired !
I feel so handicapped . D; Sigh ~
Tmr gonna start working le . Shag !

Tired. So Very Very Tired.
That is how I feel,
So Very Very Tired.

Me. I don't want to be me.
Can I be you?
I don't want to be me.

Why. Why is my life this way?
I go on day by day.
Why is my life this way?

Love. A thing that seems to be lacking.
I search yet I cannot find.
A thing that seems to be lacking.

Life. Something that seems to go on.
One day at a time.
Something that seems to go on.

Death. Do I wish for this?
I'm unsure if I want that.
Do I wish for this?

Friends. Some people tell me I have them.
Some people tell me they are them.
Some people tell me I have them.

Where. A place deep inside of me.
Thats where I hide all my feelings.
A place deep inside of me.

Tired. I'm tired of being me.
So can't I be you? Or somebody?
I'm tired of being me, of myself.

A peice just highlighting how I feel right now , so very tired w everything .....

250709

2009-07-24T16:08:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Ahkelbaba ! (; (im sorry.....)

Do eu know it hurts, it bleeding?
Sometimes, i rly dk what should i do. I cant found myself to be happy.
Confession. I know who is right there for me whn im alone, whn i need them............

Once i realised , everything was to late ..

Goodmorning people ! (;
In the early morning 5.03am awake for jogging .
Around 6am went down of my house area same place to start my jog . ...
Was damn unlucky that im falling down );
Long time didnt fall down le . (I hate to fall down !)
.. Pain* Ewww .. Having 3-wounds , one is around part of my ankle ,
another which is my hand && lastly was my leg . D:
Sigh ~ I want to lose fats ! .....Came back , quarrel w mom .
She is unreasonable ! Dk wth/f she was mans !
Keep on nagging non-stop , i cant stand her !
Even i try to control my tempered ,
trying to ignore her . && she keep on nagging while
nobody ignore her also . I think that she's depressed !
Somehow it makes me damn irritating , feels lyk getting/sending her to imh !
Well , i shall stop to mention about ! (mad)

Alright, shall stop right here le.
takecares peeps(!)

FULL-FCUK-OFF !! FUCK THE WEATHER && EVERYTHINGS LAHS ! (frustrated!)

I'm tired of saying "I'm sorry" !
I'm tired of hearing "you owe me" !
I'm tired of misunderstandings leading to him being mad at me for stupid shit !
I'm tired of feeling used !
I'm tired of bringing it on myself !
I'm tired of causing so much pain !
I'm tired of not trying in things that ought to matter !
&& I'm sick of trying to heal people that don't want to get well !
I'm sick of trying to fix people !
That I secretly know I can't .
I'm tired of living my life day to day & not getting anywhere !
I'm sick of the cycles my life follows !
I'm tired of living within my restraints !
&& I'm sick of being too lazy to break free of them !
I'm sick of being apathetic !
I'm sick of not && I'm sick of caring !
I don't want to be in this life !
I want to be someone else !
I'm tired of self-destructing !
I want to live .

I'm tired of it . Everything . Life . Not suicidal kind of tired . Just sick of things i could change but i don't . I'm so fucking lazy it sickens me .

I care . Of-course i Cares' . && i won't stop caring . It just seems like i don't seem to do any good when i do care. (Sigh~)

They expect too much .
So do i .

240709

2009-07-23T15:58:00.000-07:00

F-CUK THE WEATHER , FCUK EVERYTHINGS !
I WANT TO SLIM-DOWN !! D;

I'm tired .
Tired of feeling lost , afraid , misunderstood .
Tired of wondering if I'm letting someone down by the choices I've made .
I'm tired .
Tired of getting my feelings hurt , my ego bruised , my heart broken .
Tired of showing these varmin called emotions .
I'm tired .
Tired of being me , of being weak .
Tired of trying to be this person I cannot see .
I'm tired .
Tired of all the pain , all the struggle I've put upon myself .
Tired of not being the person I was .
I'm tired .
Tired of hiding , hoping && healing .
Tired of listening , learning... letting .
I'm tired ... I'm tired .

LOLS . :D today seems lyk e' whole day messaging w my good-friend ! :D
Thanks Weixuan(Goodfriend) . {:

Peeps , opps ! Wth/f are we doing man ? Hahaha.
1st pic-LOLS . :D my retarded face ! Arghs !! MUHAHAHAS !! ;D
2nd pic-Ahhai/gong bro ! ;D

Haahs , nerd ((: Look Peepos ! Im fat );

Hello People , im back ! (;
7pm , just now went area of my house for jogging .
Tired . It been a long times that i didnt jog le .
Eversince , graduate frm secondary school .
Ok , well . After finish my jogging , was about 8pm .
Went to sk to rest && smoke .
Thirsty* Arghs ! Sk fridge dont have any bottle
of water , finish . D:
Alright , is ok . {: so slack at there w my sk friends .
Haas . Quite a long time , i didnt went down .
Cos' am lazy =.=" bored , deric isnt there .
If it he is there , he will get disturb by me ! :D
Cos' he just get in army today . Sad for him .
LISTEN , I WANNA SLIM DOWN "WO YAO JIAN FEI!"
IM SO FAT !!!!! Haahs , they cant tahan me =="
The xiaoderic say me mad && all of them toos . Lols .
.....Chitchatting , until was about 10pm .
Homesweethome !
("Before the love just turns to hate")

230709

2009-07-22T18:35:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to peiqi honey ! :D

(OLD PIC-07)
I am tired .
Tired of thinking .
Tired of talking .
Tired of people around me .
Tired of living .
maybe running , Daily race ?
I'd know , running away is not gonna slove a problems .

Hello People , im back ! (;
Just now boyer && one of his friend comes
to my house area nearby to find me . :D
Cos' it been such a long time didnt met ((:
& he is going out-boarding by next week
monday . He told me was about what ns issue
things . Anw , im working by next week monday toos .
&& im gonna missed . =(

Alright, shall stop here le.
Night!

Please let me go , i feel lyk im dead but breathing .
I know because my heart is beating .
Im sorry that i couldn't stay to fill your empty space
Ps.
-undefined

220709

2009-07-21T17:28:00.000-07:00

(080208,
old pic)

Fading
Sorry

Staring at my reflection , I'm becoming numb . I barely recognize this thing that I've become . Buried beneath the surface , pounding in my brain . A desperate need for something I cannot escape . What is wrong here ? I don't belong here . Save me from myself... All alone , in the dark , feel the beating of my heart .
I'm fading inside , lately ; I cannot seem to find myself again
I'm fading inside , lately ; I cannot find myself... myself.

Goodmorning people ! (;
Haahs , now was on msn w my lovely shelton didi ((:
Damn bored , kinda shag );
Hmmm .. Ltr i might be going back macpherson ite to meet my ite mates . :D
Cos' some of them wanna meet me .
So i might be visiting mrtan toos . (:

Thanks to ricky daddy , huiyee babe , genia , zeke misses , tiffany qingren , cheryl baobei mei , perry && ahda bro concern .

Shiwen , thanks for your console ! ;D

Hellos People , its me again . Hahaha.
Just now 12.45pm around , went back to
macpherson ite for visiting
my mates/friends && teachers .
Until 3pm plus , homesweethome . {:
&& I quite in love w today weather x333
W loves';D

210709

2009-07-20T17:36:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to puxiu ! (;

just how I feel lately about myself, my life && everything...

Goodmorning , people !
Full-Fcuk , damn it ! Such a hot weather ! (unhappy)
I dont understand why now adays is getting hotter && hotter .
Keep sweating . I hate it mans !
Is making me feel uncomfortable . D:
&& it seems lyk now adays , im getting more worsen .
Im growing much more fatter && fatter again .
Arghs !! I dont want !!! Sadded ** hais ! );
Keep stressing . =(
I want to Slim Down & I want to Lose Fats !!!!!!!!!!!!
D=

Back to my world .
Was alone just now . Walking around , which i can see so much different kind of joys && love around . But , sometimes you could just see perfectly out-looks or impression . While you didnt notice about , how does people cuts deep inside their soul . Joys/happiness may shown on their face expression . But , how'd you know what is thier head/mind or heart was it was ? Could you find it ? Could you search for it ? Is hard to , isnt it ? You'll nvr understand ; Somehow , You'll nvr found 'that emptiness is meant fot the spirit' . Hahaha. This sentence is what zeke misses told me about . Quite make sence for me . (:

What i felt , right now .
Alone . My life is apart .
Is falling , again && again .
Idk why was it was . I happen
to think that so . Idk why , truthfully .
I really want to be happy .
This is all i ever wanted .
I've made a promises to one of my
good friend to be happy , stay happy &
to live my life w happiness .
&& stop to think much or to let my
negative thoughts comes .
Yet , i felt that i cant/unable do it .
I just cant put down . I'd still feel the same .
I feel so sorry for her .
Im sorry huiling deardear.....
but , i will tried my best to do it .
I'll be happy...

Picture perfect fading smiles are all that's left in sight .
Am I supposed to be happy ?
With all I ever wanted , it comes with a price .
Sometimes Somehow , i felt apart of me .
Somethings missing another part of my life ?

200709

2009-07-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

i dont get it -
FOR ALL THOSE GANG-STER IS OUTDATED OK ?! ;D
wondering , does it make yourself feels proud ?
wonder what is their mind going through ?
wonder what is their mind thinking ?
Wakeup please , what age , what yrs' & what world now ? Think about it ! It only make everyone looks down/low on yourself && to be more worst then it . You are not kids anymore . (:

G.morning readers ! (;
Early in the morning should awake
&& washup for schoolling bahs ?
LOLS . :D hmmm .. Gonna went for a interview
ltr on . Hopefully , there is a big good news bring it on me .
I feel that im more fat again & again !! D:
I want to lose fats && Slim down ); **

Now adays , i feel so handicapped these days .
Every single sms that comes in ,
im so lazy && feel so tired to reply .
Hahaha. Hope to seek for you all understanding . {:
For friendster && facebook now is similar toos .
Once i login . Wah , shag ! So much friends request !
Crazy && mad =.=" Arghs !!! Plus comments too .
Making me of the feeling is much more lazy to approve
&& replying so much laas . Laughs* ps.

Alright, nth to post about.
Shall stop here le .
takecares peepos(!)

Questions cloud my head w why
Tears on my pillow as I cry
Makes no sense for us too say goodbye
Impossible to hide this pain inside
Thinking about the times we shared
Makes me wonder if you even cared

Back w my 'zhilian' pic ! :D
Went to International plaza @ tanjong pagar .
Hopefully i can get a good news soon . {:

Erzi , im so sorry about it );

100709

2009-07-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

Goodmorning , people ! (; still feeling unwell , I Guess . But now is better enough .
Last night , messaging joey friend of ahda . Haahs , such a weird name anw ((:
Till whn it half having my strong gastric , getting damn pain till i cant sleep well .
Almost feels alike rolling left to the right . D=

Actually , im supposed to meet cheryl mei last night .
Yet , im feeling tired && unwell . So , cancel our dating . D:
............ was about 7.50pm , weichiang bro come to find me .
So went down my house area busstop meet him tgt go find yangboon notiboy .
Cos' yangboon notiboy is staying just right , nearby my house .
&& is also such a long times didnt get to meet him le .
Chitchatting till 8.25pm around , joey best buddy ridding his motobike .
Back sit , his friend . Cos' he is coming to the 'songka' around there & 'shunbian'
meet me awhile . Haahs , it been such a long times didnt meet him alr .
&& yet , he's nth much changes . But , better than the previous of him .
Hahaha. Funny him . No more botak hairstyle . So , all of us chitchatting awhile .
&& he have to go back the 'songka' w his friend . So , 3 of us continue chat again .
There is so many different kind group of gangs walking pass . Hmmm ..
Afews of them which is the same manjursri secondary school tgt ,
i mean in the previous times . ... Until was about 10pm , buddy have finish his things .
So , he came back to look for us again . Then he told me that his friend wanna know me =.=' .....
Chat awhile , then we have to go back home . Cos' is raining soon as we think .
It late , buddy have to back tampines w ahda bro & notiboy have to
book in by just now in the early 5.30am . {:
Lastly i realised , buddy told me that he go to his friend grandma of the
'songka' which is kenneth . I rmb last time , whn we are young . As lyk k1-k2 or
primary school . We was very closed as before . Yet , after we grow old .
We didnt seems to be talk nor friends too . (:

while everyone is getting older ,
they will have their new friends .
once as closed as before ,
they treat it as dead .
(i mean most of them)

I need a rest...........

sometimes life is getting harder , sometimes life is getting easiler .....

Look around
don't you feel something missing?
I'm the one you promised you would love
but you got ahead so far away
while I'm holding on
please turn around
I see you but i don't feel you
can't get your attention to save my love
look back and see me now
don't let me down please turn around

Funny shoot,

LOLS . :D he got a snap by me . && the cat was playing the sring by itself . Hahaha.

Thanks potato to bought me a japanese brewed green tea . {:

Im back , people (;
Potato came over under my house voiddeck to look for me by 2pm .
Haahs , quite a long times didnt meet him alr ((:
So he accompany cab to singapore post @ paya-lebar there awhile .
After that , went back to my house voiddeck to slack .
Then was about 3pm plus , my bro came down to find me .
Until was about 4pm , potato have to went back home for preparing .
Cos' he got to reach pasir ris by 5.30pm , before his bus arrive
to pickup him back to camp . So i went back home for resting .
&& calling melvin erzi . Haas . Heard a good news from him !
He is so happy & excited after all . He finally successfully get his love . :D
Hopefully you can lasting in this r/s . I was so glad for eu . .....
6.30pm meet nicole mei at cityhall station . After that ,
walk to bugis . Cos' i got to went bugis.S to buy somethings .
Was so concidence meet till meimei w her friend is also there . (:
..... Was about 9pm , homesweethome ! ;D

Tmr 1030am having a interview .
Thanks for shiwen anyway x3
Goodluck ! Jiayou HuiLi !! Lols .
Alright, shall stop here le.
Nights, w loves';D

180709

2009-07-17T20:00:00.000-07:00

Sometimes , is fading in our life .....

I WANT A NEW CAMERA );

(there is hope beyond the pain . Would you rather know the truth? Oh, even if it hurts you...)

So why don't you go your way ?
&& I'll go mine .
Live your life & I'll live mine .
Boy you'll do well & I'll be fine . (:
Cos' we're better off , separated .

I know you know that im sorry .
I never meant to hurt you .
I dont know what should or am i gonna do , really .
Cos' im sorry .
I never meant to make you cry .
And i dont want to say goodbye .
But , is all causes of my feeling towards to you was fading .
Dont let me hate you . Please leave me alone .
Im sorry .
Im sorry that i lied .

P.S.Actually ltr night 10pm gotta meet mine baobei cheryl mei . Yet ,
im so tired && sick , right now ...........
=(

170709

2009-07-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to hanrey ! (;

(Pretty Babe) <3

(funny pic of us)

Goodmorning , people ! Was feeling so tired && unwell .
Guess should be sicking soon . D: Cos' last night whn im bathing-out .
Suddenly feel lyk vomiting . I think for the everyday , i was nt enough sleep
&& hang around . Giddy , is lyk somebody spinning my head right round
& round . Im so tired , really . Alrights ! (; i shall not mention about this .
Ytd time is reaching soon to be 3pm went over tpy lor8 , up to huiyee babe house . Cos'
she told me that early in the morning , she is feeling nt well . So ,
accompany her to polyclinic to see doctor . ..... After that ,
we went to tpy central to walk walk/slack , shop shop && smoking . ...
6pm plus , accompany her went to bishan-J8 to meet both of her friends .
One is don another which is same name frm my realblood bro weisheng ! :D lols . ..
Was abt 9pm plus , took bus13 back to tpy to slack till 10pm . I gg luhs .
While reaching my house voiddeck was around 10.30pm .
Then was so concidence that xiaoen childhood playmate , xnas , xnas father &&
keith was sitting at there . Coco their new pets of dog is along w them toos .
Quite cute , but i prefer bibi ! ;D ..... So slacking tgt w them until 11pm plus , keith & xnas father got to went back amk . So , three of us went up back home tgt w coco . (:
Actually , i can get to meet andy && marcus . But , andy last mins msg me &&
was feeling unwell toos );

Ok well , i shall stop here le .
Might be meeting my classmates ltr on . {:

Back , just now while i was taking a nap .
Still feeling unwell , sorry my classmates that i didnt went to meet you all .
Ps. But , imy all mates ! :D so was around 230pm .
Wakeup by my childhood playmate xiaoen call .
So went down voiddeck to accompany her for slack , smoking & chitchat .
Hahaha. She was w coco toos . (: Then was about 3pm plus .
My bro came down to find us toos ..... While time is running up to 4pm .
Went up tgt ............

im feeling so tired );

160709

2009-07-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Esther ! (;

Happy birthday to marcus-lanzer !! ;D

Goodafternoon people ! Awww .. Dozing !! Bloody hell tiring ! (; haahs , just last night lyk having my compo =.=" typing typing typing .. Didnt notice/realise the time pass damn fast . Lols . Sometimes while you didnt notice the time , the time will be passing damn fast as you didnt realise it . Sometimes while you keep notice the time , the time will be passing damn slow as you couldn't think to have a patient . So , life is just lyk a time . && is also just lyk a boat . Isn't it , am i right ? Hmmm .. I finally know . I know how to learn to fact the fact whn the problems was coming in my life . In my life , i have heard a 3 friends who told me what was it was . They told or teach me how to handle or to face the problems whn it coming . Which is nick , huiling deardear/laogong & peijing . I rly needs a thanks to them . I has learned somethings new frm them . It such a very grateful for them . Sometimes , i thought to make myself busying can get rid those stress/problems in my head . But , i was wrong . This is all im running out the problems . Is true , that i can't run out , walk away , busying , dont even Cares' or pretending whn the times the problems reaching . I must or needs to face the fact ! Everyone in this earth is facing alots of problems . Not only me . Everythings , whatever comes . We need to be strong to fight for it . Just lyk 'Fighting Spirit' , right ? Hahaha. As well now i learned , i know how to or how to think to fight for it . Ehs . Usually now adays , many people was stressing about r/s problems . Some of them keep on nagging/mention to me . Is making me stress more about . It all causes of love . Sometimes they didnt make their mind clear , was it a crush or a love . So much of them i can tell that they'r just in crush . Love dosen't fall too fast , anw . Or maybe you all are just admire/impress the person ? Isn't it all im speaking about frm truth ? Hmmm .. I was quite stress about some problems in me . But , i can try my best to go for it . {: i must be a strong girl ! Sometimes somehow , by right now . I was thinking does love or r/s is so impotant ? I dont think so for my this age around . All is called a puppy love , ain't it ? R/s can go for next time round whn you grow more older as lyk age23 around , why nt ? Dont be afaird , there's a long way for you to have a chance to get in r/s , wasn't it ?

Alright, shall stop here right to post ltr.(:
takecares peeps(!)

150709

2009-07-14T17:08:00.000-07:00

Goodmorning ! (; it a big raining morning . {: ytd didnt went to old kallang aiport road to meet alan them . Am so tired . So rest at home . Ltr on , having meet tgt again . Cos' we are going back tgt to our old school (manjusri secondary) ! :D

Alright, shall stop here.
to be continue .....

1st 2 pic w huiyee babe ; 3rd-guolong laopa ; last pic-joseph

ontop-qingmu didi, guosheng ; below-me, guolong laopa

(Argh! Wonder why does my pic looks damn freaking hell today );)

Hellos , im back ! (; meet alan , weichiang bro , goulong laopa && gousheng at aljunied station around 2pm . After that , we went to took bus63 to our old school . Haahs , was abit of anxious ((: Cos' maybe that i had been such a long times didnt in schoolling . && was so many manjusrian people/students . While we was otw , i was wondering how does my new secondary school looks lyk . LOLS . :D while arriving our school outside of the busstop was about 3pm . We found it our new school is so new && quite big as well . Quite a nice design . Walking to the gate , thought that getting in . Yet , the fking sercurity guide dont let me the only one in . Cos' you know what ? Can't wear a slippers ?! Wth/f ?! Then i realised that the changes of our old school is becoming more strict ! Ohs , that was damn unlucky which that my first time came to visit teachers whn im stepping in the new school . D: then what will have this happened in me . So , i gt no choice . Got to call huimin lend me a pair of cover shoes . Cos' she is staying nearby . Just right opposite behind of the blk . Then 3 of them went in first . So huimin came over & bring me up to her house to get a cover up shoes . Luckily that she have a pair of extra cover shoes . After went down kopitiam w huimin . Qingmu didi && nicholas is over there toos . So i got to get a change =.=' was so pain && uncomfortable to wore it ); Haas . Nvm . Well , after i went in the concelling room . I will change back ! ;D ... After that , went back w huimin , qingmu didi & nicholas . Calling weichiang bro & guosheng coming out at the school gate to fetch us in . Finally can get in & get a visitor pass . Walking to canteen . Accompany alan , guolong laopa , weichiang bro & joseph to buy somethings to eat . After that , tgt went to concelling room to visit mrs jacq.. teacher . Lol. I dosen't know to spell her full name . Cos' this is the last time/day that she got to leave manjusri tmr . Awhile ltr , went up level/2nd floor office to visit teachers . Ohs , too bad that our form teacher of mdm yong is not there . Cos' she is going back home . So totally today we can get to visit just only 2-3 teachers . Ewww .. Sounds bad to us . ..... After chitchatting , visiting . Went back down to concelling room to have a sit , aircon , chitchat , uno cards . (: was around 10mins ltr , pizzahut ! :D Cos' the mrs jacq.. teacher ordered a 7boxes for us . Plus chesse 'tuo-fu' , crispy 'yuntun' , eggs && the drinks ..... Waiting around another 10mins ltr yixiang & one girl is coming over to enjoy the foods . After enjoying the pizza , we left some for peijing . Cos' she is coming over toos . After she came . ........... Huimin & nicholas gg . So left we 4b alan , guolong laopa , weichiang bro , guosheng , qingmu . 4a is joseph , shanneng , desmond , ronny , yixiang , peijing . Plus others 3 unknown friends . && the teacher . Awhile ltr , mr wong is coming over & help us to take a group photo . ............ 6pm plus , the concelling room is closing . && mrs jacq have to go home . So they decided to go bugis . Finally can get out the school gate & have my smoking . While tgt 11 of us took bus63 was chitchatting , listening to song , heading towards bugis . But , shanneng is not going . So left 10 of us is going . Went there to have a walk awhile then accompany them went to play pool . ............ While time was reaching 9pm , huiyee babe reaching bugis to meet me ! ;DD miss her so . Hahaha. My bro wanna get to know her as well . Babe ! SEE !! Haahs , you are so fortunate && pretty ((: thats what/why i said . So much people wanna get to know eu !! MUHAHAHAS ^^ So huiyee babe , me && weichiang bro go off first . Surrounding/walk walk at bugis till the time was about 11pm . So , me && weichiang bro accompany her home . ... Reaching her house next blk to smoke , chitchat awhile , accompany her to lift && huggies w her . Then we gg home le . Was so pity that he missed his last bus . So weichiang bro accompany me wait for my last bus till 12am around . Then he went home by cab . Hahaha. Was so fun & joy today ! I was quite hyper today ! Cos' maybe of so long time that i didn't went out w a group/huge of friends . Is so hard to get to hangout all tgt someday lyk just now ! ): Lovesyou guys much ; MISSES';D

Opps ! The time now is 350am ! Arghs ! It soon be 4am . I didnt notice i have been type this compo for an 2hrs' plus ! =.=" lols. Tired . Alright, i shall stop here luhs .
Nights ! && g.morning soon;D

140709

2009-07-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

失去,

终于我了解爱有期限
也许放开后我才学会
两颗心不一定到永远
口袋里还收藏着那些密语甜言当作纪念
手中握住了幸福画面美好的总还值得怀念
就算你离我越来越远
再看不见我的转变
我微笑着和你拥抱道别
却模糊了最后一句再见

Goodmorning people ! (; last night was msn w my classmate && jiahua . Hahaha.
So busying chatting , no time for me to post . Sorry jiahua that i have lost your pic .
Imy toos . {:

Ytd , meet weichiang bro after his school at kallang around 5.10pm around .
After that , he accompany me went to town of the isetan to return the name tag .
&& get back my $10 . After went to john lil' to buy my 'white PIGEON baby compact powder' . :D
After that , went to took bus16 to old kallang aiport road to meet alan ,
guolong laopa && guosheng for dinner . Haas . I was having my fruits dinner =.='
Am afaird of fat . So dosen't eat much . Sometimes got to control . (:
After dinner , accompany them went macdona to see their 'CAI' =.=" lols .
Crazy them ! ;D ..... Slacking w them till the time is going to be 10pm .

Class gathering ? Sometimes , i was thinking . Class gathering dosen't meant to be the words of "CLASS GATHERING" . Eversince back to 1yrs' plus , after our secondary 4b class graduation . It seems lyk everyone is going separated && having many new mates or friends . && forget us , about previous what we had so much close & fun before . Yes , is true . Well , we still have so called as class gathering for the somedays . But , dating some of them out . They will be always not free/nt able to meet . Otherwise , finding alots of excuses . So , tell me "WTH/F" was it ?! Yes , i know ! Everyone will change . But , don't you all understand ? Might getting hard to meet each others another round again . Ya , busy . Busy for the 24hrs' ? Everyday ? For your whole life ? Dont bullshit ! Dont tell me that you all dont even have any time or a day to be free or to be rest ? Just find sometimes or a day tgt out again , why not ? If truly or really , then will have a heart to meet us out . Dont need to find so much excuses , what for ? Just telling us the truth ! Dont be a "HOLYSHIT" ! For me , right now . Only left me , huiling deardear/laogong , alan , weichiang bro , guolong laopa , guosheng && ciwei is willing to meet out tgt . If so much busy of us , we will still spare/spent/find a time or a day to meet . Not alike others ! Their dead ! They seems to be dont even wanna Cares' about us old friends ! (; we dont even have those kind of heartless friends as before , rights ? * honestly , isn't it ? Ohs , those can go suck the bullshit alr . Hahaha.:D

Nina - Last Dance(lyris)
Would you rather know the truth? .. Oh .. Even if it hurts you

So here we are
Can't believe out song is fading off
Thought we would dance,like this forever
Now every single note is breakiing down
till there's no sound

When i'm checking on the thought of this
You broken up the next part of us
For once,was it worth it ?
Cus when the music ends
You won't be seeing me again, and then you know,if it was worth it

You were innocent,till i prove you guilty
Even though it kills me,the truth is better then the lie
No going back, i've reached my final verdict
You had my heart and hurt it,but i won't let you see me cry

This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance
This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance

So take my hand
Follow me down to the foor right now
Only have half of a song left to go
i'm not even angry for that you've done
i'm only sad i have to let go

When i'm checking on the thought of this
You broken up the next part of us
For once,was it worth it ?
Cus when the records ends
You won't be seeing me again, and then you know,if it was worth it

You were innocent,till i prove you guilty
Even though it kills me,the truth is better then the lie
No going back, i've reached my final verdict
You had my heart and hurt it,but i won't let you see me cry

This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance
This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance

Would you rather know the truth ?
Even if it was hurting you
Could you say goodbye
if you knew that it was right
if you knew that it was right

Ooh

You were innocent,till i prove you guilty
Even though it kills me,the truth is better then the lie
No going back, i've reached my final verdict
You had my heart and hurt it,but i won't let you see me cry

This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance
This is our laaaaaaast dance .. Our laaaaaaast dance

Alright, i shall stop here luh.
takecares peeps(!)

130709

2009-07-12T10:04:00.000-07:00

Hellos peepos ! (; it 3am now . Damn tired ); so boring && tiring working . So messaging w yanting mei , junior , shiyin mei , serene sweetloves' && boyer ..... After finally work till 7pm , rush back my house to change a short . Cos' i meeting my classmates . So happily ! :D miss them all along . D: around 8.20pm , rushing to aljunied meet huiling laogong/dear dear , alan , weichiang bro , guosheng && ciwei for dinner . After dinner , we took bus80 to hougang street 11 to accompany huiling laogong/deardear to see doctor . Arriving , went playground to have fun . ..... They are thirsty . So i accompany guosheng went to nearby so called as 'mama shop' to get drinks for them . Once i was smoking outside the corner side , waiting for guosheng to buy the drinks . After buying , he came out & told me that inside the shop uncle say me at there stole something as before . Then guosheng said that i didnt came here as before . Then the LJ say that dont try to help me lahs ! Don't judge people by looks . WTF ?! THIS WAS MY 1ST TIME CAME TO HOUGANG THAT PLACE , THEN LET THE BO LJ UNCLE SAY THAT I STOLE SOMETHINGS ?! WHN DID I ? YES , I ADMIT ! I BEEN WENT TO HOUGANG IN SO MUCH TIMES . I MEAN IN THE PREVIOUS TIME . BUT THAT WAS SO LONG TIME AGO . IS A PAST ! EVENTUALLY I TOOK BUS80 , I DIDNT EVEN GET DOWN TO THAT PLACE ! BUT , SERIOUSLY THAT I DIDN'T WENT TO HG.S11 ! WALAO EHS . TELL ME WHAT HE SAY THIS , DONT JUDGE PEOPLE BY LOOKS ! THEN WHAT DID HE SAY ?! THIS IS CALLED ALL ARE JUST REFLECT TO HIM OWNSELF , ISN'T IT ?! FUCK ! THIS WAS MY 1ST TIME I EVER BEEN BEFORE ! HONESTLY SPEAKING ! Actually , i wanna turn back to look for the lj uncle & ask properly . Do you ever seen me as before to took somethings in your small lil' shop , have you ? Have you ever have any prove ? Wanna bring me to police center & check my information ? But , guosheng dont let me walk back . So ok , well . I dont wanna to say or purchase this things much . This is such a small things . I dont wanna to create any big troubles at outside ! But , it was damn angry that get fault/blame by someone which i dont even know ! && i was a innocent ! If you ever get blame by someone else which you dont even know at all , how do you feels ? Dont feel good , am i right ? Even though you didnt steal/take anything . I know i can dont even Cares' abt this small lil' things . But was just my bad-tempered . At public places , i didnt even get any foolish case at all ! I nvr do such things as before . I can tell ! Nicole mei has said that as before that hg people cnt even make friends w them ! They are just goodbye friends ! Thats what now im understanding/understood . There the people are childish act , brianstuck/ness && damn it ! Sucks hougang ! ;D ya , is ture . But , i not mean it the whole hg peoples . Dont mistaken . Almost the whole hg people . Only just left afew of them is not lyk what i says , I Guess . Unlucky today , thats enough . Whoever love to judge or by saying me no rights . Whatever or anything ! I dont give a damn . Alright , i dont wanna to mention anymore . .. 10.30pm , huiling deardear appointment . After that , tgt took bus80 back to aljunied station .

Huiling laogong/deardear - Thanks for your talks today . Im so happily hanging out tgt w you all . I know that i cant get rid out those negative things on my head . But , will try to be happy ok ? I now that you suffering those pain , i can understand how you feel about . We have made a promises . I promise you "我会好好的活下去" . You toos , ok ? I will live my life in happily . {: && Cheerups , you dont think too much , ok ? I wont let eu to die . This is our promise* ily! May god bless you ............

Sometimes somehow , i was thinking about . I been so tough in my life . Im getting more & more tired in my life . I dont wanna think much as well to making myself a big stressing problem , is that all i want ? I dont want to bring anyone all of my burdens && depressed . But it came automactically , always . Even idk why was it was . There is so much things heading up my mind in each single days . I dont want to think anymore ! I dont want to ! I want to get a peace in my mind . All i want now is working to get more cash to save/help my family , thats enough . Others i can just leave aside . Can i do it ? Can i put down ? I can't even handle my life properly . So tell me how am i going to do ? I don't even dare to think about so far about my future . Cos' idk which day im leaving . Maybe tmr accidentally ? Everyone dosen't know about tmr may happens/occurs , am i right ? But so i know , those dont even have much time in thier life & they suffer those sickness . They wanted to live . Some who are living in fortunate . They dont want to live their life . Just lyk me . I couldnt think . Idk why . My mind is so complicated ! Sigh ~ hopeless

Goodmorning people !

I have been tired in my life . I've been torn apart . I live my life in hopeless part .
Yeahs ! (; is true . Im sorry huiling deardear .
I rly still cant put down . I know . Everythings anythings is not that you cant do it .
Is see that you want it anots . Nothing is you cant do it . Otherwise is you dont want to .
Instead , i ownself dk . Maybe , is i dont want it ? Why ?
I cant help myself . Even i cant find out the reason why . I think im helpless toos .
&& there would i know , there is nth success in my life . But huiling deardear ,
i promise is i promises ! I wont turn back , i wont break the promises . This is what i swear .
I wont let you disspointed . I wont let you die , i wont let we die .
'We will live our life till the eternity && happily !'

I tired, I failed to believe. In the reward I would receive. If only heaven's distant sun,
Would burn away all the things I'd done. I tired, to no avail.
To keep my eyes from growing pale. But my vision came too late.
&& my belief started to abate.
Like a tide recedes from rocky shores. I drew back no matter how much you implored.
I have failed to see the beauty here. Everything I loved has disappeared. I tired,
I failed to forgive. For the life you made me live. A confusing ride at best.
&& at its worst it seemed so meaningless.
If there's a lesson to be learned. Some sort of wisdom to be earned. It held too great a price.
It required too great a sacrifice. Worlds collide without a sound.
&& flames arise from frozen ground.
But nothing can bring back my faith. You tried your best, but I'm afraid that it's too late.....

120709

2009-07-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to jiawei ! (;

LOLS . :D during chatting w sweet, there is a flying balloons fly pass under the ground && was alike walking around as lyk human people mother bringing a son! =.= lame. Oh, i was afaird balloons man! Honestly speaking!

Goodmorning people again, the time now is 1200am.
Soon i will be off to sleep, after this.
Damn , bloody hell tiring ! );

So tiring && bored! Messaging w yongkang bro, yangboon notiboy,
boonting, xiaohao notiboy, serene sweetloves', jiahua && nicole beloved mei...
4pm just now, serene sweetloves' w her bf came to look for me at isetan.
Finally get to see her. It been so long since we didnt met, eversince
whn i quit ite from the last yrs'.D: i know her since in ite cca.
We always share our 'xin shi' tgt. Is a fate to know her.
Haahs , she is the first friend who came to to work place && visit me ((:
Having so much to tell & to say ..... Ohs , 1hr break is gone so fast .
But, i dosent rly Cares' abt it. So 5pm, she && her bf accompany
me went down to smoke && chitchatting till 5.40pm around.
Shag!); have to went back to work or to look after. So pitiful of me!
Huggies w her after we gg (; Haas . But i spent over half an hr.
Yet, still chatting. && her bf is so lonely & pity .
Cos' both of us were chit-chatting all the way.:D
Anw, i got to thanks her for all e' talks && suggestion.{:

Alright, shall stop here luh. (restless );)
Nights!

long day - jason derulo

110609

2009-07-10T10:27:00.000-07:00

CONFUSED && CONFUSION );

Goodmorning people, the time now is 130am.
Soon i will be off to sleep, after this.
Damn , bloody hell tiring ! );

Work . Work . Work . Money ! Money !
Quite been hardly tough. But i just got to hang on.
Huili , JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU !! ;D =.=
Feel so bored.D: sneaking messaging w nicole beloved mei,
sensen, serene sweetloves', shelton didi & qiwen notiboy.(:
Hmmm .. Ltr afternoon, serene sweetloves' is gonna find
me for dinner.:D so long didnt met, hope to get to see her soon.
Alright, i shall stop here for my lil' post! (sleepy) D=
Goodnights && Goodmorning ! ;DD lol

serene sweetloves'-will time prove e' r/s ? Thanks lots . anw, workhard for your this coming monday paper.(: dont stress/tired yourself toos. Goodluck ! (;

Fuck_It_&_Fuck_You_Right_Back***Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now ! Fuck the presents might as well throw em' out ! Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back.
(You know there is two sides to every story)
Fuck what I did was your fault somehow ! Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out ! Fuck all the crying it didn't mean jack ! Well guess what you, fuck you right back ! Fuck you,you hoe, fuck you right back. You thought you could really make me moan . I had better sex all alone. Hahaha. I had to turn to your friend . Now you want me to come back . You must be smoking crack . Im going else where and thats a fact .
(you made me do this)

100709

2009-07-09T16:03:00.000-07:00

Current mood - frustrated , restless && stressing
Current Music - Goodbye Secondhand Serenade

She drifts through the chilly road
Her auburn hair trailing her path aimlessly
Brushing past the shoulders of strangers
She tries to run away

Tears flowing down the porcelain face of hers
As she leaves the Dark Palace
Holding on to her precious trinkets
She tries to run away

Dark memories obstructing her thoughts
As she cuts through the woods
Such audacity to escape from Him
She tries to run away

Everything starts to fade
Looking up, in front of her was He
She feels pain and breathed her last
She tried to run away
She's tired being through
Once again && again

Another tired day .

G.Morning ! After working the whole day , damn tiring ! ); (unhappy)
FULL SHIFT somemore ! Argh! Someone is fking hated in me !
Copycat , fking hell ! Im refering to you ! OK ?
Damns bored ytd . Seems lyk no customer .
Sneaking messaging cheryl mei && shijie bro .
Was gladly thanks for the branded manager .
She is damn good , bought me a homemate barley drinks for me . :D
Kind/polite && good heart of her . Thirsty && straving*
Thanks anyway ! (; im so glad that you can look me up .
&& wanna hire me . Im willing to learn . But , i was afaird toos .
Cos' i don't have any confidence on myself . D:
So , i shall give it a try . (:
Ltr on , the manager will be having a tea-break w me .
A small interview . Hopefully , i can get a chance to get
in your company & workhard in it . Goodluck to myself !

Alright, gg for my preparation!
takecares pepole,
W loves';D

Melvin erzi-Oh, my dear pity son. Please takecares of yourself . Cheerups && nvr say giveup , OK ?

090709

2009-07-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

i miss my 4b past mates.
i miss my cheryl baobei mei.
i miss my genia && genie.(sis/loves')
i miss my beloved nicole mei.
i miss my xiaovan loves' mei.
i miss my childhood playmate.(xiaoen)
i miss my huiyee babe.
i miss my melvin erzi.
i miss my jacq-manuela baby.
i miss my tiffany qingren.
i miss all of my friends.
=(

melvin erzi-Get well soon ! (;

How can i get rid all of those things on my head?

screw this world
who can teach me how to take things easily ?
who can teach me to move on happily ?
who can teach me to be a stronger girl ?
who can teach me how to stop ?
who can bring me out, of this screwed world?
Maybe I'm not meant to be happy.....

080709

2009-07-07T17:54:00.000-07:00

W/o make up-OMG, my polar bear eyes is darker & my double eye bag is more deeperD;It seems lyk you live a life w/o me

Goodafternoon people, still such a damn tiring for me now on.D:
Eversince the day i started working.

I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep . I want to sleep !!!!!!!!!

I've got not enough sleep ); & I'm off this 3day ! ( Happy )

But, today was my last day =( ewww .. Not enough sleep. I want a longer sleep!):
i dont wanna to think much alr. I dont wanna worrying about anymore.
I just want to earn money, thats enough. Otherwise, grey/white
hair is growing or coming another round more again. Last night,
covering those grey hair. And doing haircut all by myself. Hahaha.
Look nice? The bhb of me hors? LOLS . :D but i still miss the past
or the previous of myself my hair, really. Messaging w tiffany qingren ~
Hmmm .. 4pm ltr, gonna meet mine baobei cheryl mei! Haahs , i miss her
so much man ! Was hardly get to see each others again. But, it came
finally can get to see her soon ltr again.(: && w my 'wei lai meifu!'
Nick is coming along toos.{:

I don't wanna feel this pain. I'm so tired of being ashamed. && my heart is so confused. Cos' it's still belongs to you. Thinking about those days, Whenever you would call and say That i would never be alone. But now i'm here, All on my own. Is it over... is it true.. Oh tell me why, Give my heart a chance to say Goodbye..... I apologise what i had wrote to you. It been regret after all alone i realised, that we are further away. I just don't know, is it me? Or is there someone else... But whatever come and gone.

TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED!
TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED!
TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED! TIRED!
D=

Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol, Marlboro menthol, Viceroy menthol! E' rocker ! ;D

to be continue ...

LOLS . :D below this "siaozarbo" wearing my old school uniform;D

Hellos people, just back for not long. 4pm, meet them at cityhall station.
After that, went marina catch a movie.(drag me to hell) .....
After movie, 6.30pm went for a smoke. Awhile ltr, tgt went back geylang933
lor17 eat dinner w my families member.:D after dinner, went down my
house voiddeck for slacking.(: happily after till around 10pm.
I love you guys. Huiling deardear calling, too bad that i cant take
off on this fri for class gathering =( Ohs , im missing my 4b friends/mates,
cheryl mei && all of my lovely friends . D;

Alright, shall stop here for my short post.
Gg bath && rest now.
Goodnights!

TMR GONNA WORK AGAIN . SIAN CAN ?
SHAG ! I hate to work . But bobian .

070709

2009-07-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

Overdue pictures,Alvin-didi, cheerups! Always saw your msn nick is full of sadness. Don't think so much ya ! (; i know i didnt have times to accompany chatting w you or get to seeyou. Cos' im working now.D:
Shjie-Bro/Kor!:D imy toos. Thanks for being there for me since whenever i need you or dont need you. You are the best bro whom i have ever been, you'r a brave kor. && sorry for nvr been contact eu for so long. I know which that im heartless. Actually, im not. Honestly, im laziness for being in contacting so much people. I know am not good. It all because all of my bad habits. But, i have started been contacting them eversince a few days back. Some who have text me or call me. I have try to replied them back alr.(:Jiahua-imy, eversince long time we didnt met. && your hair is growing longer , happy ? Hahaha. Nice to chatting w you.{: so sorry that i didnt meet you up on thy day.

Stressing* I think i must have plan or arrange one by one for a date.
Sorry dear friends , will be meeting up soon ! (;
Ohs , my grey hair seems to be growing much D=
Alright, i got to went for dyeing my hair ltr!
takecares peepos(!) W loves';D

Melvin erzi-I know it been hard for you. Oh, my dear son is sicking. Rmb ltr you must went to see doctor uhs . && drink lots of warm water, not cold drinks. Please cheerups, anw!); do have confidence fr yourself.{: take good Cares' of yourself.....

Suddenly received zw mother call just now. She told me that tml i can't went db to visit him alr. Cos' the db ere' just now call her & say that ey' still nt comfirm the request yet. So, i still must wait till a 2more weeks plus. En'can successfully comfirm w me.D:
SIGH~ maybe, we dont have any fate. Maybe we'r just lyk a very good pal, isn't it?
to zw,
zw-Miss me?
me-Yes.
zw-It's slowly moving to our destination isn't it?
me-This is what we meant to be? No, i dont think so alr.
zw-As time goes by I wonder will your love for me fade away?
me-Im sorry, i must have gave too much. I think in btw us is over. Im so sorry abt. Idk, really. Is fading, I Guess. I felt so wrong for writing those words to eu. But, i still felt so pain && down. Sorry is what i can say. Everything, changes. Now is over. Im so over you. Thats what i have told you as before, im sure 1 day you will regret. But, you dont believe it.
-Sorry-

060709

2009-07-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday freda ! (;

Goodmorning people, the time now is 115am.
Hahaha. && i need to chat w my melvin erzi soon.
Damn tired/tiring!);

Just now of work was quite unlucky. Got one customer damn fcuk, ok?!
Somemore, someone! Bear, just have to bear or to control my tempered!
Well, i dont wanna metion all about.D=
Complain to huiyee babe. && raining after work way back home
w all wet.D: well, was damn boring & tiring working.
Sneaking messaging w potato, edwin, esther pikachu, nicholas, boyer, gary cuteboy,
guorong && xiaovan loves' mei.:D
Has been working for 1week5days. Not bad. Quite well quite slack.
Can learn somethings new.(: && also can get to know more new maturity,
adults/college or others or beside or around those department store friends.
They quite friendly. I mean some. Not all anyway.
Just right opposite of my store, the brand manager is quite friendly toos.
She came to me & chat w me awhile && still ask me to join her company.
She intro to me which is all so called about fashion things.
So i should consider abt it ! (; Hahaha. Btw, thanks anw.

Alright, shall stop here luh.{:
Shits! My son is waiting for my long call.
W loves';D

Another morning again ! (; delicous? =.="
Haas . Most likely, i will have my coffee chocolate;D
Taking off today due to wed =D
LOLS . :D now was lyk so busying messaging && msn.
Chatting w so much peoples, lazy. ARGH!
Cnt stop my hand for breaking.D: Hahaha.
-Melvin erzi, genia, genie, kevin didi, jason, jereen sweethearts', jieqiang notiboy,
joey best buddy, junior, habil, samuel didi, shiwen, weilun, boonting, zeke misses
&& xiaovan loves' mei. Much complicated && in confusion. So much/many
people now of my friends all wanna date me out.
But i have no time. Sometimes, i was thinking while
im dating them out. Then they won't have time or wont
be free/not free. Once, whn im getting nt free or whatever shits.
All of them will come to me && date me out in the same time.
Thats what/why im wondering is they all discussing
tgt aft date me out at the same timing? Hmmm ..
Shouldn't be, right? Maybe just nice.
♥'Oh im missing all of you, my lovely friends. Is hardly get to
see each others again. First, let me have my planning.
Ewww .. I cnt wait to see all of eu
=(
( im so missing the past the good old days ! )'; )

Melvin erzi-Great son!:D im glad to heard something goodnews frm you, last night.(:
Hopefully, you can successfully of getting her answer! Wish you all the best && luck.
I think is my time, pray hard for you;D haas. Cnt stop you frm keep mention abt her.
You are getting/gone crazy for her. Your head/mind which is full of her alr =.=' JIAYOU*

Hey peepos, im lazy using friendster & facebook now.
&& sorry for all taggie! Will be reply soon, alright?

Goodevening people, so bored right now!):
Sometimes, i didnt really show it. But deep inside i was breaking out.
I dont wanna miss a thing. I dont want to cry anymore. I dont wanna to Cares' anymore.
Yet when i see myself breaking apart, sad. Seems to be depressed
on me. What im thinking? Yet i needs to give it a rest, sitting down
at the table looking upon my hand, knowing I tired. Yet tired to make
a stand. Not one shine && Not one smile. A tear slowly roles down from my eye,
forcing me to begin to cry. Now im all alone. Wishing I could die.
I remember when we walked that night. We were drunk.
The sweetest dream will never do, that never felt before. This is something,
a memory could store. Knowing I tired to take it away, tired to take my pains away.
They never left. All they did was stay. I remember,
holding your hand made you feel good. Now I just wish that you understood.
Having the pills in my hand. Hands clenched tight. The depression had came.
Yet loosing all my sight. Yet i felt so alone. I cried so hard. Knowing i tired.
All what came out, is how much I cried. I remember when we first met,
It was at tampines mart. But now i sit here, in this house. Trying to die,
knowing how much I try. Trying hard, not to think about eu. I tried so hard.
Not to think so much about you. This is what happend. This is what i do.
Now I wonder, where you are? Are you close? Or are you far?
My eyes start to give out. My mind begins to spin. Yet feeling so ill. I had taken it,
that very last pill. Then it came, how I sighed. Knowing yet i was so tiring,Knowing it killing me
=(

050709

2009-07-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

At my working place!

Cool! LOLS . :D what a funny people wore the transformer costume.
&& was so much kids or childrens are all obsess/possess by the transformer! Hahaha.
Anyone interested? Do/Can visit this website http://www.moviemania.com.sg/
-Costuming club, Fantasy roleplaying, Fan film-making, Movie reviews, Toys & collectibles exchange, Prop-making courses, Private functions, Workshop tours, Charity appearances, Model making && Talent grooming.
Not all mention abt only for transformer. Over there's still have much others different kind of things. Enjoy, thanks.(:

Ytd working messaging w adrain, alexiis mei, alvin didi, andy, boonting, charmaine sweety, cheekin bro, cheryl baobei mei, chunhao notiboy, darren piggy, deric, xiaovan loves' mei & stanley skinny. Lol. Messaging 13peoples =.=' Bored && bloody hell tiring ! ): Alright, shall stop here for my prepartion luh.
Takecares peeps(!)

Cai mei yi - dao dui lyris
天黑之前我踏不出思念
天亮之前我还在想念

没你的夜星星都不再耀眼
没你的天只剩灰色一片

你一直在我的梦里出现
我的伤心你总是视而不见

Guardian Angel 能不能让我再见你一面
我不要童话结局这样改写
Angel 能不能让我们再爱一遍
就算倒退一天我都想要体验

没你的夜星星都不再耀眼
没你的天只剩灰色一片

你一直在我的梦里出现
我的伤心你总是视而不见

Guardian Angel 能不能让我再见你一面
我不要童话结局这样改写
Angel 能不能让我们再爱一遍
就算倒退一天我都想要体验

Guardian Angel 能不能让我再见你一面
我不要童话结局这样改写
Angel 能不能让我们再爱一遍
就算倒退一天我都想要体验
让我再闻你的脸

040609

2009-07-03T18:05:00.000-07:00

G.Morning People ! (; i think i shall came back for blogging .
Other than that , i don't wish to be a unreasonable .
After all could has happened just a few days back.
-i have lost
-to see customer faces && staff faces
-tiring agian && agian
Alright, i don't wish to mention or to say right back agian.
Im feeling so so so TIRED ! Is a damn bloody hell tiring ! );
Thursday sleep for the 10hrs' plus . Last night 7hrs' plus .
&& yet now im still feeling so damn tired ,
weak & feeling nt right . Tell me what's wrong w me ?
Maybe i was not enough sleep. So may causes which is now i am.
Sigh! Too much stress hanging on my mind/head.
Can't get off or out of my head. Thought working which might
slove the problem. Yet, it dosen't work it out. Hmmm..
Maybe this job is too slacking? Hais! Anyway, i still have to bear w it.
I can't lose a job again . && i can't let my parents to disappointed once again && again .
All of the causes bought on me to bring everyone burdens
&& troubles . So i needs to earn more cash/money for my family .
Is a times for me to suffering some hardship && is my times to repay.
&& i need to return all of those money to my dearest friends .
Honestly , i who have owe them so much . So i need sometimes ,
slowly to return or and repay them . Hopefully , everythings went
smoothly after the rest .....

&&i supposed to hangout w my classmates/class gathering.
yet that im working full shift by ytd.D: (SIGH!)
i miss them so much even i couldn't bear to see them/outting w them.
D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=D=

And i want to watch a movie which is
"TRANSFORMER" , who wanna catch a movie w me ?! ):
I have been waiting quite a long. Yet, there isn't anyone i could find.D:
Im so missing the past the good old days=(
I miss all my friends/the dearest one.
&& i would like to 'thank to' all those who caring about me.

♥Alexiis mei,

♥Cheryl baobei mei,

♥Huiyee(babe),

♥Melvin(erzi),

LOLS . :D i shall take pic w you someday whn we meet again, ok ? Hahaha.

♥Nicole beloved mei,

♥Weicong,

-thanks for all your Cares', loves', sweet and to be there for me. I love you all much. And i miss you.D: And i still owe you all so much. I will treat eu back another times, ok? W loves';D

Overdue to last yrs' pic,

♥Xiaovan loves' mei, imy toos!): hopefully to meet eu up soon, really. && ILY !! ;D

Receiving your letter ytd, is your 5th letter to me.
I dont know how to answer your question.
(As time goes by I wonder will your love for me fade away?)
This is what im confusing now. I dont know should i say yes or no.
But, over the night. I have decided, Yes. Will/Would eventually fade.
I am sorry, this is what i can tell you. After it all, i had think all over
over again. Most of it, which that i can comfirm that i didn't love you
at all. Must be all of that i'd felt guilty or missibg you something else.
Maybe just IMU at a very good pal? Sorry is what i can say.
I have been confused all along after while you went in.
-apologise-

I know that im gonna tell you that im so confused
I can't make up my mind But Only Love can say
Try again or walk away Theres hope beyond the pain

If we give enough If we learn to trust
But only love can say...

020709

2009-07-01T16:55:00.000-07:00

I know who's right or wrong, isn't it?
I know who is good to me or treat me bad instead.
Don't pretend/fake infront of me.
Only those used to be pretend are dumbness!:D
I who adores those are adores me well.

Call me a bitch , i'll show you one .
Phuck me over && i'll do it to you twice or bad .
Lick my toes , if you say you hate me .

Fuckin' MY WAY

==================================================================
Sigh ~ Just came back not long from work , halfway of work
almost faint . D: so back earlier for rest . Cos' tml have to work full time ! );
So pitiful of me , ain't it ? Sadded ** hais !
Nt feeling well , tired && sleepy causes .....
It started from the ytd , 1st day of july once start .
Then , such a weak i am ! ): Ohs , both of my eyes are almost closing =(

Melvin erzi-im sorry that i didn't make a call you this two days night . Cos' im so tiring aft all && i won't be able to have a times to on phone w you . D: hopefully , i will be back to chat w eu soon ((: please bear w it ya ?! (; anything now , you just got to msg me first . Ok ? Hope to seek for your understanding . Wish you good luck && all e' best , my dear son =D god bless* (don't be too rush =.=' ; you just got to bear minded. everything needs to take times.) LOLS . :D some of your personality patterns are same w me . So concidence erzi ! Hahaha.

010709

2009-06-30T17:50:00.001-07:00

confusion*
-080709, next wed i got to went db to visit him.

I has been working for 1week1days. So tiring!
&& now adays was on phone w melvin erzi.
Cheerups, maybe it wasn't your times yet to meet your mrs right.
I know that how you feel. Move on? Goodluck w all e' best, my erzi.{:

FCUKING FRIENDSTER !
FCUKING FACEBOOK !
FCUKING MSN !
FCUKING BLOG !
Fuck it ! Damn it ! Fuck everythings !!!!!
I don't know everywords && everythings came in my mind is all damn fuck !!

Guys is always damn Fuck ! I hate guys/boys ! (Hongster/filrt no.1 !!!)
Stop taking my num w/o my permission && msg or to call me !
They used to fuck everythings they ever wanted !
They fault us for w/o any reason , when our ladies were so innocent.
They don't even know how to appreciate , cherish && teasure it !

260509

2009-06-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

Skinny ! (; last night , you make me laugh while your web-camming . Thanks for cheering me up . (: thanks for your octoto && you be e' papa octoto . :D by the way , you looks cute in it .

to my dearest ones && friends ,
maybe was my last time/last day of blogging .
Sorry...
takecares everyone . (:

250609

2009-06-25T06:48:00.000-07:00

2days of working && tml was my 3rd day .
hopefully , everythings went smoothly .
so tired && pain of my leg . D:

why does im so drown && so down ?
i can't help myself . i can't even handle my life .
im so scared so fear . im stucking inside the dark .
im so afaird . someone focing me that i don't want to .
i gave away that i hate & is also the special ones .
im almost losing myself , lyk im missing now .
im so foolish in me . im so regret .
i dosen't know bad things could have happened .
idk why . idk why im so lose , right now .
i don't want to be the hell lyk this .
i could rather than giving/left the precious one to you .
but , now seems to be too late too over .
i rly hate myself for giving/sacrifice my ownself away .
i am so phobia...

no one else can even understand me now && ever .
this fear && pain , not even one can understand how i feel .
why ? there is nobody else can save me . no ! there isn't one .

zw, im sorry for myself && to you.
im sacrifice/giving away something .
i rly dk how to face or to tell you that, i've lost somethings else.
i think im nt the right one for you now && always.
im nt suit to be the one for eu. im sorry. im so sorry.

i'd lost myself.............

240609

2009-06-23T16:28:00.000-07:00

G.Morning everyone ! (; wish me good luck ltr on . (:
Hopefully , everything went smoothly . {:

thanks eddie bro for your job intro.

as i walk alone in the cold rain,
my mind drifted away to the past.
to what we used to be
to the secrets we used to share.
how i wish you were here with me,
sharing the umbrella
in this lonely yet cold night.
whispering sweet nothings in my ear
i miss you so much.

230609

2009-06-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

G.Afternoon people ! (; kinda bored ~
Hopefully cn get a job a news soon . (:
Hopefully, everythings went smoothly..
Now adays was damn lazy to use friendster
&& facebook instead . Ps. All will be approve or
reply in lately . Sorry anw . Hmmm ..
I should completly my Question of a lil' short post .

1. My Fav.Story from books/comics ?
As long as somethings which is included abt ghost story .

2. My Fav.Subject and teacher ?
Please don't ever ask agian . (nt schoolling anymore)

3. Singapore 2105 ?
LOLS . :D idk weather this earth cn keep us to alive/survive or stay how long was it . Is too far to know .

4. My brother/sisters ? Name ? Age ? What he/she doing now ? Do you like your bro/sis ? Why ? If you like why ? If don't like why not ? What activities do you all do together ?
=.=" too much asked && question , anw . Ok , well . I have a brother , name which is called weisheng . 12yr' old this yrs' . Ehs . Average , sometimes just felt that he is damn irritating or making me angry . So we will be quarrel for often . I only wish that he is mature enough , so i will love/likes him or to dotes him alots . Alrights , nth much abt it ! (;

5. The national day ?
Haven reach yet .

6. My Fav.Cartoon show ? Do you have the Japanese words ?
I seldom watch tv . I dont watch cartoons . Childish , see which parts or cartoon show it is . Yes ! :D

Alright, i shall stop here all the silly question!

Im so tired , tired because of you .
Im in confusion , dosen't know what should i do
to clear up my mind or heart w all the true/false .
I still dk that am i love you ? Likes you ? Miss you ?
Why am i so much by missing you ?

Hey peepos , im back ! (; 6pm just went to my grandmother house
to visit my godmother && eat dinner . It been so long that i didnt
went to visit & also see her alr . So , went to see/visit her . She seems to be
growing more older && older . Grey hair is almost over her head .
She even more && more weak toos . && i miss her so much ! );
last time , whn i was young children . She takecares of me && dotes me alots . D:
ILY ; MINE GODMOTHER ! :D

thanks to cheekin bro for tried helping me to look for a job . {:
thanks to adrian toos . && i am sorry that i didnt listen for your advise . Anw , i still needs to thankyou fr the Cares' . (:
lastly , i wanna thanks to eddie bro for trying to help me anw;D

220609

2009-06-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

Wish me good luck !

Quickpost-last mins cancel off the part-time job, so 1pm meet nicole mei tgt went changi hospital for job asking.
-bus down to suntec, aft walking to bugis searching for job.
-went down dbg.:D

210609

2009-06-20T22:46:00.000-07:00

累

I think i musta gave too much
Cos' i felt that the rd was getting rough
Suddenly i felt lonely out here
I look beside me to find you'r nt there

只怪我(lyris)
这黑色的大衣
充满着你的痕迹
我依然记得
你穿着它将我抱紧

它依然挂在我衣橱里
或许你已经忘记
你的温度我还记在心里

你抽过的烟蒂
还留在烟灰缸里
你仿佛在哪里
我的眼泪也开始滴

如果放弃须要勇气
是不是我不够毅力
还是怀疑就已失去

怪只怪我看错了你
怪只怪我不敢放弃
怪只怪一个人在黑夜里
须要你的拥抱才可以

怪只怪我相信了你
怪只怪我没有犹豫
看不到这是你设下的陷阱

当我的美梦清醒现实那么冷清
我没有别的途径总要自己看清
有点苦它才叫做爱情
现在我还不能放弃可能我不够勇气
如果遗忘比面对容易我怎么不能忘记
破碎的心里埋着重重的回忆
我要带着微笑去面

200609

2009-06-19T17:38:00.000-07:00

G.Morning people ! (; by 6am plus , in the early morning wakeup .
Cant even get to sleep well enough . D: have my gastric agian && agian .
By this month started to have my gastric , I Guess .
What a big "SIGH" for me ! ); am tried been through my life .....
2am last night , huiyee babe msg me && melvin erzi call me .
Whn i was sleeping on thy times =.=" so concidence that they
both contact me as the same times around && day night .
While i was awake , i was wondering isit they both discuss
afterwards then contact me through ? Hahaha. Ltr imma have to
meet my cheryl baobei mei ! :D haas . It been quite a long times
that we didnt meet le . Finally cn get to see her ltr on by 2pm
at douby.G . (:

Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing

Ohmy, this song is so emo-lish && touchable!)';
Damn nice ! && once listen , you will wanna repeat agian && agian .
Im in love w this love , fking much !

Here are the lyris-
I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
Far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Well, every moment spent with you
Is a moment I treasure

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

Lying close to you
Feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes and thank God we're together
And I just wanna stay with you
In this moment forever, forever and ever

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

(Bridge)

I don't wanna miss one smile
I don't wanna miss one kiss
Well, I just wanna be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just wanna hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

(Chorus)
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
'Cause I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

(Chorus)
I don't wanna close my eyes
I don't wanna fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing
'Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you, babe
And I don't wanna miss a thing

(Chorus)
Don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna fall asleep, yeah
I don't wanna miss a thing

Alright, shall stop right here le.
Back to post tonight ^^ ENJOY =)

Hey peeps , im back ! (; meet the mine baobei cheryl mei , weicong , perry
&& one of their friend ah-xiong at douby.G station . Aft we went plaza.S
&& accompany the 2 lovers' of the couples my mei && weicong , to buy
their couples ring . Cos' today was their 1mth anniversary ! ;DD
So sweet of they both . (: aft buying , accompany them went to buy
some kind liquid of beer , i think . Afterwards , tgt mrt down to yishun-np
to eat kfc . ..... Buying coke-zero ... Bus to perry house && drink . ..
Drink , chit-chatting && smoke . Aft all today , thanks for xiong counselling
me . && i would lyk to thanks to my baobei mei toos . {:

Alrights, i shall stop here le. Im so tired.
I need to go rest, really. =(
Nights! Sweetdreams, w loves';D

~~while i was on my way back home,~~
~~emoing. i keep on thinking over & over agian.~~
~~&&now i know was that,~~
~~i nvr ever fell in love w you as before & is also right now.~~
~~is just lyk what others told me.~~
~~maybe, i was just missing you all because of those jokes,~~
~~treat me good && is also a very good friend?~~
~~now i could know every mistake & misunderstanding~~
~~that i took. i was too silly too rush abt it.~~
~~am sorry...not because ily..is should be imy.~~
~~Perhaps all is just a dream.....~~

199609

2009-06-18T20:03:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my Ahbenbaba ! (; bibi, w loves';D
somethings let me missed
somethings let me feel so lost
somethings let me missed back our past.....
idk what happens to me in the previous time . it cames everything fade away && go separately . just felt a lil' of regret of what i have done && what i have made a decision . suddenly , i do missed how our bond family life is so closed as nobody cn break us as apart . bt , end yet . it seems lyk i given-up ...
we used to called each others baba , rmb ?

16/170609
Snap by nicole mei . {:

Gt a snap by her friend ...

&& Yet , i have another new nose stuck ! :D thanks for nicole mei bought one for me . (: awww .. So lovely of her !! ;D
Was damn unlucky , that i lost my 1 another nose stuck . D: moody*

Meet my gorgeous beloved nicole mei at parkway shopping center by 3pm plus . Accompany me for interview . Aft that , we went for a walk around . .. Until was abt 5pm plus , took a bus to douby ghuat at plaza.S for a walk . ... Till was abt 6.30pm plus around , zhengwei grandmother call me && asked how was my interview . LOLS . :D she is abit of "luo shuo" =.=' she keep on want me to go home earlier && dont stay too late or whatever . Hahaha. Ok well . I knw that i was quite bad to say abt that . I knw that she is also good , worrring abt me && Cares' abt me . Btw , rly thanks for her caring . Haas . Aft that , we was abt to leave plaza.S . Nicole mei was damn angry abt one of her friend nicholas . Cos' we was waiting him till was abt 2hrs' plus around , I Guess . && she keep on calling & bombing his hp/phone . Yet he nvr even ans in btw this 10-20plus call , i think . .. Endup , finally he pickup the call . So we walk to town at fareast to meet him . ..... 8pm plus , went for a dinner . Then was abt 9pm plus . Bus down to esplanade for 3 of our emoing . .. 10pm plus , another of her friend shereen is coming along . ... So endup , i've decided to ton w them . Bus back to town at cine for k-box . .. Singing , drinking && smoking . Haahs , have something good news ((: this time drinking , i wont be down/get drunk easily ! ;DD great , rights ? MUHAHAHAS ^^ ... 4am plus , tgt cab to 2/3places . Nicole mei went to hougang shereen house for slp . Cos' they both are too drunk ==' strong of liquid smells . Hmmm ... aft that , nicholas accompany cab to my house . Aft that needs to went back to hougang to find both of them . Btw , i would lyk to thanks to my beloved nicole mei && her friends . (: aft all , sorry for all of my troubles ! )';
170609
Aft e' last night tonning , i sleep for only 3 an hrs' plus . Cos' i have a interview at 3pm . ... Aft rush back to aljunied the library . Thought of happily fetching my brother . Endup , get a big surprise frm him . Which is he put aeroplane to me . SO SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT A BIG WORDS OF "FUCK" WAS IT ?! Aft all , i rush here && there for heading towards to the place . What a big "SIGH" for me ?! Why ?! Hais ! A few days back , have a big quarrel w my mother agian && agian . Guess that her depression is more worsen . I think of that her depressed is making me as a same kind frm her . I think these is more worst to have this kind of mother that i have . She says that she dosent have me this daughter . So what's the big problems w her ? Ok , well . Dosent have , dont have ! Whatever ! I also dosent or dont rly Cares' abt this matter . You think i want it meant to be this kind of wicked ways ?! There is rly no choice to or for me to made my mind up . Just take her as a mental auntie person in my house ! FCUK-IT! I was feeling so down . All of negative things , thoughts/thinking coming in my mind or to my head . My life was so full of sucks ! I keep on thought of weather to leave out peace of the rest of my life , giveup my life && thoughts of negative things . I cant even stop myself frm thinking . Maybe this is a challenge of my life my punish-ment of my life . Why , can someone tell me why && why ?! I dont want to the hell lyk this ! I want back the previous of myself . Aft all , so much stressed up in my mind my head . Can't get off , cant piss-off . Im nt happy . I cant even seems to be happy . Maybe im nt meant to be happy . Maybe im to blame . Everyone seems to fault on me . I felt my life is wasnt worth enough again . I felt my life is so meaningless to live in/on , really . Sucide ? Maybe , i should just wait tml cames to kill myself agian .
It killing me.....

180609
Went redhill to meet ziyang didi && 2 of his friends .
Awhile more , 4 couples cames . Ziyang didi of his realblood bro Ziliang w her gf .
&& shermen w her gf . :D so long didnt went to see thems alr .
Shermen is lyk the most , he even lyk MIA ==" Hahaha.
Slacking till 10pm plus , took bus64 back to my house voiddeck to
slack awhile w my childhood playmates xiaoen , her darling xnas ,
xnas father , keith && friend . {:

190609
Today now , was rotting at home .
Aft hanging out so many days , am tired .
Should take sometimes for rest .
.....Awake this morning , my nextdoor xiaoen mother
came back w bibi . Haahs , bibi is so cute !! ;D
Bibi came in my house awhile && went back . Lols.
... was boring , right now . Can someone please save me ?
Sigh ~ i missed him so much . I keep on wondering what
he's doing fine now ? It almost been 1weeks over ,
seems lyk didnt even received a letter frm him .
Tell me what's happened to him ?
Is he alrights ?! (; does anythings happening inside ?
I had been missing all those jokes frm him ..
=(

160609

2009-06-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

Just lyk this- Our footprints in the sand may fade, but the memories are here to stay.....

150609

2009-06-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Xiaohao notiboy ! (;

Happy birthday to huiping dearest ! :D

Happy birthday to shijie bro ! ;DD

Morning ! (; tired ~ Was kinda boring ! );
Continue ytd Question of a lil' short post .

1. If the world ends tomorrow ? You only have 24hrs' , do you think you has enough time to do all that ?
Hmmm .. If in this situation . I will be confused & dosen't know what should i do . && tomorrow is the world is ends . In this 24hrs' , maybe i would likes to respect && to be honest to my parents . && spent some times on my friend . Lastly , i would want to spend w him && tgt w my family ! (;

2. My most happiest and sadness moment ?
On my happiest moment is a real laugh/a smile on me . I dont really found out my life will be happy at all . Who will make me happy ? No . There is no one , truly . && on my sadness moment , 100% out of 99% . I mean 99/100% . D:

3. I like or hate singapore and where would you like to stay ?
Average . && i would like to stay or to migrate to japan . (:

Same lame posting agian ? LOLS . :D
I shall stop here le .
takecares peepos(!)

140609

2009-06-13T16:21:00.000-07:00

Happy father day's !

G.Morning ! (; am so tired mans ! Now was damn early . Awww .. So sleepy . Actually lately night i make my times 11pm for sleeping . For an hour past ltr . Im nt sleeping yet or over slept . Am tired . But , just dk why couldnt i sleep . Cos' maybe of my house opposite renovating of those irritating sound is so loud . So then is hard for me to sleep . Somemore plus my gastric last night . D: ... endup messaging w keith till finally i off to fall asleep ! :D hmmm .. Ltr around 10am , i have to meet zhengwei grandmother at bugis temple for 'bai bai' pray .

Here are 3 lovely of his letter whn i received . {:
the sweetest dream...Here was my lil' love for him ^^Alright, i shall stop here for my preparation.(:
Will be back to post =)

Hi Hellos , im back . {: today was my 1st day of meeting zw grandma;D
Hmmm .. Can see && feel that she is so concern abt zw .
Bt , idk how does zw feels . Does he still hate his grandma ?
Hope , that he have been forgive grandma alr ((: .....
Kinda bored right now . So i shall continue my ytd Question &
a short lil' post .

1. My Best Friend ?
Mine cheryl baobei mei . I can say all along i still treat eu as my best sister in my heart that will never change && always . Is just that we never contact for a period of time ?! && seldom chat or to talk much ? I know is im lazy to contact . && sometimes , i wanna text/call you & ask you out , but in the end didn't . Yes , my partern of a bad habits . I do have lots of bad habit . Im a fault . I don't have the courage to do so . Maybe im afraid you'll think im using you ? My birthday you celebrate for me ?! && to my nicole beloved mei toos . I miss going out w you . Both of you know ? Our sistership won't break so easily de right ?

2. What if i have one million dollar ?
I would like to buy all my wants =)

3. Why i like/hate my school ?
Dont ask . Nt schoolling anymore . D:

Lame again ? Will be continue tml agian == Hahaha.
Next is to post my today "Zhi Lian" pic !! ;D

LOLS . :D there's so much pic today =.="
Ok well , shall stop here luh.
takecares peeps(!) W loves';D

130609

2009-06-12T18:24:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday jason ! (;

大家早安 ! (; bloody hell tiring ! ); actually , im abt to sleep a lil' more awhile . && Yet , wakeup by those small lil' bird frm my house outside behind of my window . But nt only this . I cnt even sleep well last night , by all the way till to this morning . Sigh ~ Maybe is i think too much . Maybe nt even true . Or maybe i miss him too much . Cos' , ytd zhengwei mother told me that she ytd just went to db && visit him . Then zhengwei he is searching for me . He told his mother that i miss me so , rly . && He eventually told his officer that im his gf . So maybe that he cn get to see me . Then zhengwei mother told me that , by this month 27th of june or july . I cn go to visit him . So , once i heard this news . I was damn happy && glad . :D i hope that this is all reality aft all i've heard . Hopefully that i cn get to see/visit him by this month coming . (:
Sometimes Somehow, i had thought of weather to accept you as my lifelong partner or consider you as my very good friend. I have been complicating && confusing all these while. Somemore, i can't believe that i had even dreamt of you alots for a few consecutive days recently. In my life, i had never been this through ever as before. No. Not even once. This is and was also my first time. I never ever even miss a person so much till i dream of the person so much in my dreams. He is the one. And is also the first person, which is a guy who is always appears in my dream. Not only dream. Like his soul is always surrounded me around. And his things. Or something which is included about him. All these had lead me to think about our future. However, i realise our love may not last and will be hard to maintain. Just each day past, can be a challenge for both of us and our love will eventually fade away as a day past. I do not dare to pin much hope in this r/s. Im still kinda unsure what will happen in adays past. Honestly, im really touched by what you did for me all these awhile. But life is full of uncertainties, hence i can't really predict if our future can be a happy one or as disappointed and hurts as my past or the previous r/s.
IMU =(

Alright, shall stop here. I need to go rest.
Afternoon i might be meeting zhengwei grandma.
To be continue...

Hi Hellos , G.evening ! (; thought of stepping out of my house today .
&& Yet , it dosen't . Cos' am too tired && lazy . Somemore plus my gastric .
Now adays keep on have some problems w my gastric . Boy , im so missing you much .
&& I was wondering what eu doing ? =( ... Im so bored , right now . Hmmm ..
Since , right now was nth to do also . So i shall take out some Question & do a short post .

1. Myself - An introduction?
Bitch irritating Useless && failure . no hopes . just say/tell me , if you say you hate me . I'm so tired of being here [ MY IMMORTAL ]
Actually there isn't much stuff to knw abt me , just that I am perhaps the evil-twins person you will ever meet in your life , and that I ! (;

2. My Fav.Movie ?
Unsure ? Maybe in horror , example ghost ?

3. How Did I Spend My Holiday ?
Dont ask . Nt schoolling anymore . && I've been spending my holiday almost fr the whole yrs' . D: && i need a job badly , really ! ):

Lame , am i right ? Lols. Ok well , i shall stop here for my short lil' posting .
Will be continue somemore tml . (:
takecares peeps(!) W loves';D

Tml plan-Maybe went to zw grandmother house for visiting .

120509

2009-06-11T21:20:00.000-07:00

Today is the 1st day ns-army for hubert && my cousin yicong . All the best ya ! (;
Hmmm .. Ytd 9pm plus , went aljunied mrt to meet hubert awhile && take somethings . (:
Aft that , went back to my house void-deck && find my childhood playmate
xiaoen , her darling xnas , keith && xnas of his father also there toos . .....
So slacking until 1am plus around . All of us is tired .
Then keith && xnas father have to went back home to amk .
Me , xiaoen & xnas went up home && have our dreamland . :D

This place which can bring me so much memories . Sometimes , will be slacking w my friends at my house void deck here . Especially there is a person which is important to me . He is the one . I really appreciate how devoted he are in lovin' me & dotes me alots && is also the most one . But , now it seems to be gone . Something which is missing , right here now .

E' past* I still remember this pictures which is on 14022009 . I remember these day is his 1st day of coming my under void deck for tonning . Haahs , that time we was having so fun ((: Especially him , which is all im mention all about him - Xie Zheng Wei ; IMU =(

Ive Been Waiting - Toni Gonzaga
after all the rain, and after all the pain
a brand new day is here for me to start
your light feeds my soul it's shining in my heart
a brand new day is here for us to start
you and me together it's gonna be a harmony
you and me forever will always be a symphony

Chours
I've been waiting,waiting for so long
I've been longing, I've been hoping for you to come along
i finally found my song and it's you
I've been searching, I've been waiting for someone like you

many times I've failed fallen almost every time
you held my hand and dried my tears in my eyes
and everyday that passed were spent waiting for you
you saved this heart of mine with a love so true
thoughts of us together brightens up my darkest days
without your love I'm lost i couldn't find my way

Repeat Chours

Bridge
so hard to hope and wait for love
but I'd go through it all again
if i knew that it was you

Chours
I've been waiting,waiting for so long
I've been longing, I've been hoping for you to come along
i finally found my song and it's you
I've been searching, I've been waiting for someone like you

110609

2009-06-10T20:58:00.000-07:00

G.Afternoon ! (; Sigh ~ now adays lyk happened so much things
that i couldnt make myself to cool down or to stable . Keeping on stressing abt .
&& Complicated , dk what should i do what happening . ...
Ytd went to meet hubert && a group of his friends . (:
Thought or actually that we have some big troubles of taiji .
..... But , endup . Everybody was waiting for them till this morning 10am
to come down to settle . && Yet , you knw what ?
That fking ahboy && the leon dont even dare to come down .
So tell what was a big "FUCK" words ?
&& was damn angry so ! Cos' that ahboy doing things too much alr .
Now all i could realised that he && the leon was a liar & cheater !
Everythings that they do or say is just reflecting to them ownself !
So expert to change topic or words . 'Dare to say or to do, Dare to face
up!' Dont need me to say so much . Not only me . Cos' our here ,
we & others have so much evidence to prove . Hmmm .. Now i see how you both
cn hide till whn or how long was it . I see that you both also cnt hide
this things longer anw . Dont shame yourself .

Has received zw letter, by ytd.:D
His worte on 070509.

I hide my tears when I say your name
But the pain in my heart us still the same
Although i'll smile and seems carefree, there
no one who love you more than me.

My dearest you, i will try my best to take you as someone that i cn pair w my heart.
♥If it is 3yrs', i will lead my life try to wait for you.{:
But, what's the problems nw was. I am afaird that
within each day past by. In e' btw, im afaird that
our feelings will lose/lost or fade away just lyk a
rainbow is gone soon
=(

pray hard that this feelings && r/s in btw us cn last
till the day we meet again...

100609

2009-06-09T20:51:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Alexiis mei ! :D
&&
happy birthday to beibei ! ;DD
090609 - Ps. && Happy belated birthday to Chunhao notiboy ! (;

G.Afternoon people ! (; Ytd , while time is running up near to the evening time .
Was so sudden that wenkai , alexiis mei && deric ask me to go out .
... So , 8.30pm around meet tgt at tm && catch a movie of 'Monsters VS. Aliens *In 3D*'
at 9.15pm . {: Was such a heartless of me that i didnt notice that today is her birthday . D:
Hmmm .. Hope you lyk it . Cos' is just a lil' small heart gift . .....
Was abt 11pm , the show is ending . So we chat a lil' while && gg home .
So i gt to rush back && accompany my childhood playmate xiaoen . (:
Cos' she is messaging me to faster come back . :D
While reaching my house voiddeck was abt 11.40pm around .
So is just only she && keith , both of them sitting under the voiddeck of the same place
that we always used to be . Then 12am plus , xiaoen
darling xnas && her father coming along to slack awhile
till was abt 1am . So , everyone was tired .
&& keith gg home . So xnas father tgt riding him home to amk , I guess .
So me , xiaoen && xnas went up to home for sleeping .

090609

2009-06-08T21:54:00.000-07:00

The 5-Retard .. LOLS . :D

Shanel, Yuqiang, Qiwen notiboy, Alvin didi && Me ! :D

Ytd was at Zhaowei chalet ! (;

My lovin' Genia && Genie - Im sorry for letting you both worrying abt me . Ps. Ehs . Don't worry abt me , ok ? Im still doing fine . (: there is nth gonna happens in me . Whatever shits what i do im still alive . So , i wont die so earlier . All i knw that im doing is just torturing && harmful to myself . Bt , is ok . Hmmm .. You both also ok ? Don't think too much as well . Just let them be . Just let them say or talk abt it . Cos' do you knw why ? They'r just reflecting to them ownself . They didnt notice && knw it . Hahaha. Childish act . Fking Cares' them . Face look lyk adults which is older than us . Bt , their such an childish lyk kids brain or a mindset . So tell me wth/f of them it is ?! :D Aiya , they wont say so much longer de . See how long they cn stand it . If they say long liaos . && they will also feel bored & also dk they will found out themself how kinda retarded kids they is . Damn it ! Haahs , so you both dnt easily get fall into their trip uhs . && if anythings occurs , must let me knw uhs . Anything cn just tell me , i cn be you both lil' ears ((:
Sorry && thanks for e' lil' Cares' . {:

080609

2009-06-07T21:44:00.000-07:00

G.Afternoon people ! (; I have just create a new facebook acc .
Argh! Starting , im so confused . Cos' is so complicated to me that idk how to use =.="
Hmmm .. Last night was on phone w qiwen notiboy . (:
Ewww .. Im so tired ! ): Headache , keep on spinning . D:
Not feeling well , I guess . =(

Frm the start ytd , caught last words frm adrian which he told me .
Aft that , i felt im so tired && tired . Idk aft all , i was damn tired .
I feel lyk resting && sleeping . This feelings suddenly came so terrible
&& tired to me . I found myself frm giving up this awaiting for you .
I just dk , I just cnt understand & I just cnt get it !
Somemore what i found myself that im more && more
afaird && being tiring for you . && This feeling is fading .
Lyk a rainbow is going to be gone , rly .
This is what i wanna say a sorry to you .....

070609

2009-06-06T19:22:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Zhaowei !!! ;DD

Happy birthday to jiahao !! ;D

I have tired to show you how I feel.
I have tired to show you what I see,
but how I see and how I feel seem to fade away.
How can say what is forbiden me?
I sigh to the night show my feelings to God.
I cannot act for the pain it will cause.
I cannot move for I... I want to be near.
I hope you know how want to hold you.
I want to be the one who picks you up when you are down,
how I wish things would work for us,
But I see that time is not now.
I want to know I will always be here in the shadows.
I watch in pain I watch w love.
I will come when asked for.
I hope that is what you want.
For above all else I want to see you smile w joy.

Genia-im sorry for letting you to worrying abt me . Ps. I wont take drugs again . Im sorry . && dnt think too much . Is gonna be alrights ! (; thanks anw toos . {:
Genie-you toos . Dnt think too much as well . Anythings , rmb that you both must tell me . takecares alots uhs . W loves';D
Xiaovan mei-thanks for your Cares' anw . (:

060609

2009-06-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to amanda ! (;

Suddenly or slowly they just leave you && that's how it ends.
"a broken friendship or r/s is like a broken vase, you can try & fit the pieces back together, but it will never be perfect again."

Sigh ! In my parents eyes now , im such a useless && meaningless person now .
Right now ! Im sorry for my father && my mother .
I nvr been to a good or a better person as before .
I rly wanna change I Myself to be a better person .
But , since lyk i nvr done/did or a change to myself .
I broken thier heart . I broken thier dreams .
I destroy everything in life . How or why im such a heartless person ?
Idk , i dont even understand why or how am i still as the same .
I fail thier heart down . I fail to be their daughter .
I disappointed them ..... Whatever i do anythings that will nvr let them happy as before .
How am i supposed to make them happy ? How am i supposed to be a good girl ?
This is all ever i wanted to knw . I realise that at until this
age , I myself still dosent knw the ans .
Was it such a shameless or to be shameful/ness . Isnt it ?
Maybe im too kids . Maybe i was a blame . I feel lyk im saying a sorry or
to apologise to them . But , i dont have a face && a guts to tell them .
I only can express all my feelings out here .
Whatever now which or what i have done , in their eyes , im just a failure .....
I am a sorry - my apology...

050609

2009-06-04T20:01:00.001-07:00

Is fading... Yes, and i know it/is real..

Ytd was slacking w my Childhood playmate xiaoen , her darling xnas && keith .

Has received X.zw letter ytd .
His worte on 31st of may.

To love someone is a thing
To be love by someone is something
To be loved by the one you loved is everything.

Boy , im rly sorry .
Idk what am i going to do for real .
Im quite confused abt it .
Idk what are your words .
Does it stand it for real ?
Are you those or all which are lying to me ?
Are you bringing/treating me as a spare tire ?
How much you love me ? Love me much ?
Say you will treasure me ? Serious ?
Is that you'r telling frm truth ?
I cnt tell or dk whr do i/how much do i stand in your heart toos .
I myself also dosent knw hw much i place you in my heart .
&& i wanna thanks your everythings && for your every words .....

040609

2009-06-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to Lana-Xiaovan mei ! :D

W/o makeup. LOLS . :D My jiaobin =.=' So freaking ...

G.Afternoon people ! (; hmmm .. Actually was having my dreamingland
last night , 1am plus . But , endup . Get wakeup by my nextdoor , xnas && xiaoen
call =.= Plus the willie-Xiao lemon toos . {: .. So 1am plus , went to staircase
&& smoke w xiaoen & xnas . (: ... So , intend to accompany them to ton .
2am plus , xnas have to g bath 1st . While waiting for them , firstly imma rest awhile .
Until was abt to 2.30am , tgt went down blk59/60 btw the blk && wait for the keith
frm amk cab down . Aft he reach , slack awhile ltr we walk to aljunied mac to eat .
3am plus , if im nt wrong was going t 4am . Walk back to our house voiddeck
&& slack till was abt 6am . Went to kopitiam slack awhile ltr . All of us was tired .
So we have to went back home to sleep le .

Alright, shall stop here to post!
takecares peepos(!) W loves';D

030609

2009-06-02T20:51:00.000-07:00

Again, get snap by her! Hahaha.

G.Afternoon, people ! (; haahs , today of the weather is damns good ((:
Good day && a good weather.(:
Better than afew days ago && the ytd! Haas . Cool;D Ehs .

Ytd while i was preparing, xinli msg && call me =.="
He wanna meet me. So, was abt 7pm meet nicole mei
at aljunied mrt station train down to bugis.
..While reaching bugis station, meet xinli at bugis.J the movie buying tickets area.
Aft that he follow us to bugis.S for interview. &&Was so concidence met till
my alexiis mei.:D ...While time is going to 9pm. Nicole mei his father ride down to bugis.J
&& fetch her. Cos' she isn't feeling well. So have to go home for rest.
Aft she went off alr. Then both of us went to took bus63 to geylang lor12
of the lan shop to find marcus!;DD He's working at there.
Cos' he tml 4th of june have to went in army-ns luh.
Hmmm.. Today was his last day. ... Was abt 11pm, accomapany them went to
lor15 the lan shop. .. &&12pm plus, i've to go home le.
Then xinli he accompany me till my house. Thanks him anw.{:
Ewww.. Was getting more && more tried mans!);

Those rainy days where I am stuck inside
the dark world of mine. On rainy
days where I am so badly wants to
be outside. Yet, I hates water,
like cats do. Why am I writing
in prose?

020509

2009-06-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

What is friendship? Is it a rose or a thorn? Is it love or is it hate? Is it it something that we could just walk by? Friendship to me is something that should be known... Like a bird helping it's mate with the nest building. Or a human swinging on the swing with another pushing. Friendship to me is something that I am treasuring. I know, I know I have many friends in real life. && people backstab me. My real life 'friends' don't care enough. To at least ask me to the movies. Or to at least visit.. But I do have real, true friends in my life. Not over five. Examples; like my cheryl baobei mei/weicong, nicole beloved mei & huiyee babe. Most probably they will be. Sure, We meet or hug them. But I can talk with them about my problems. Or how I feel. They listen, unlike some of them my friends those who/whichever are pretending. I know who is worth to mix with. (The only things right now. I am not the one as you seen before the me of myself, loves' to mix with those bad company. I dosen't likes or hates to mix/contact with those bad company. I know who were the person, is true or fake. Or good or bad.) .....What they told me, Could be something that makes me smile. Or something that could make me worry. Thanks for be always been there for me. They are true friends. True friends talk. True friends worry about you & ask you whats wrong. True friends try to let you in on the fun. True friends don't ask for presents in return, instead, they say it's ok. But you know what? I haven't true friends in real life. But I have to rely on them to keep me happy. Cos' all my true friends are on it. I know, I never been a good girl or a person as before. This is what bad on me. I love you guys, thanks alots anyways.{:

Thank you.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being there for me.

010609

2009-06-01T07:41:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to jaden ! (;

It been a long time for me didn't went to starbucks for my fav.mocha drinks!): Anw , thanks mei . {:

Hi Hellos, people! Im back!!;D
Ewww.. Today the sun is so strong mans!
Damn hot!D: Now adays, the weather is fking hot.
Hmmm.. Just now 3.30pm meet cheryl mei at cityhall station.
Cos' got to accompany her go to pick the saga seeds(xiang si dou) for his bf weicong.
So sweet of her la. Laughs! ..... The time was 5.30pm lyk that.
Weicong come && fetch her so suprising! Hahaha.
Actually, cheryl mei also wanna give something suprise to weicong de.
But, endup =.=" LOLS . :D Ok, well. ... 6pm plus, while im reaching my house downstair
soon. Was so concidence that met till last time of my nextdoor Childhood Playmate
xiaoen' && w her darling.(: So slack, chitchat && smoke w they both of our under voiddeck.
Awhile ltr, one of thier friend coming toos.
.. Was abt 7pm plus, xinli call me. ..... Then i think was abt 8pm.
Xinli came to find me awhile ltr he went to meet his friend for dinner.
... Awhile ltr, went up xiaoen house to slack & for their audi..

Alright ! (; Shall stop here luh.
Nights! Sweetdreams, w loves';D

310509

2009-05-30T18:40:00.000-07:00

LOLS . :D get snap by nicole mei =="

My pic was damn freaking hell mans ! ;DD

G.Morning people ! Awww .. Bloody hell tiring ! ); Nt feeling well . D:
Actually , ytd im supossed to meet cheryl mei , weicong && perry .
Endup im nt meeting them luh. Cos' of my slippers problem . Ewww ..
In the last mins , my mother had bought a slippers for me .
So , went to meet nicole mei at aljunied mrt station by 6.15pm plus . (:
Cos' we are going to bugis.S to look for job . While reaching bugis station .
My jiahua lil' boss call me . Haahs , he say that he saw me ((:
Awhile ltr went for a smoke . Was so concidence met till nicole mei 3 of her friends .
&& was so concidence that matthew is also there .
So went bugis.S tgt . :D ... aft that went to to slack . ..
8pm plus , accompany them went to pool also .
Lols. Aft nicole mei , my turn =.= ... I didnt even hw t play , anw .
Bt nicole mei her friend is teaching me . So i learned to how to play abits .
Was abt time is going to 9pm . I have to g t meet kelvin didi luhs .
So nicole mei went w me toos . Cos' they are staying nearby toos .
.. Was abt 10pm , reaching marine terence area to meet my kelvin didi slack tgt .
While nicole mei bring her precious dog pepper down tgt . Hahaha.
Time was going to 11.30pm . Kelvin didi have to went down t tm le .
Cab back t my house . Thanks nicole mei for the slippers && cab fare .
Told you nt to . Bt eu still nt to listening =.=" Anw , i still have to thanks thanks you lots . {:

While reaching home , i received a letter frm zhengwei ! :D
Yeahs ! (; i was so excited of receiving his letter , anw . (:
Haahs , was glad that i've finally received his letter ((:
He wrote this letter on 240509 .
The crazy of me =.=' Hmmm .. I rly dk should i trust you ?
Should i trust you love to me , are all in real ?
Will you willing change your life && do everything for me ?
Is that truth ? I cnt believe that you cn do it . Cos' i knw that you dont truly/rly love me .
You'r just treating me lyk a games . Im sorry , I guess ..... Ps.

I LOVE YOU
I MISS YOU
I NEED YOU
8 letters 3 words 1 meaning

♥'xzw, thanks. thanks for the everything anw.{:
bt i cnt believe that you rly cn do it or rly willing because of me.
i do believe the words/sentence which is "I MISS YOU"
thanks!(; &&im gonna tell that 'I MISS YOU MORE'.....
your letter will be postpone for tml;D

300509

2009-05-29T17:50:00.000-07:00

Last night, i've my bad dream.....
I was kinda depressed. Cos' my life was so sucks!
I hate myself damn alots!
Headache, maybe i was not in enough sleep as well.
Im sick, right now. && the real soon .

Sigh! Sometime Somehow, i was thinking to be a eduacation-girl.
I was so envy those schoolling people! ):
...But i know that day won't be come.
Cos' thy day is past quite a long times.
Once the time is past, Once it over is mean over.
You can't turn back the time which or whatever the day that
you spent, what you did & you where you were.
It been a 1yrs'5mth plus. I never been study.
Eversince i quit my ite on the last yr' november times.
But as not counted those day in ite life. Cos' i never seems to be real in school.
&& i never been a schoolling student as well.
Im so missed my secondary school times && those days.
If i could turn back the time && the day.
I will/would be study my studies well on the time.
&& get my well results for getting a better school, courses that i like/intrested, life.
I keep on wonder, wondering if i could go back/trun around the day, the time i am.
I will start to treasure everything on 2007, so in my life now i wouldn't be here.
&& i won't get here. Damn regret, i was a failure.
Cherish, i never been to. By right now, my life, included everything which that i've done.
Was too late for me.....

Alright, shall stop here! Im tired, Gg rest now.
D:D:D:D:D:***

xzw, your letter will be postpone
when im recover...

290509

2009-05-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

G.Afternoon peoples ! (;
ARGH! My slippers was just torn abt 2705 the wed . D:
Is someone somebody is gonna help me ?
Is someone somebody is gonna help me to buy one
or bought me back one of my original slippers
at the bugis.S && delivery to my house ?
Is someone somebody is gonna tell me how ?
Bored && sadded ** hais ! Cos' there isnt one people is
willing to help me . Ewww .. Now i just dk how am i going out w/o a outting
slippers alr . Tell me what should i do , Hellos ?!

Ytd nights , was abt 9.30pm .
Xinli he came to find me . :D
Haahs , was quite a long time that we didnt even meet luhs .
Hmmm .. he came to my house downstair of my blk
&& fetch me . ... Went to geylang lor15 to find his friends for pool =.='
.. Was abt 11.45pm , he accompany me walk to my house area
the market && look for my friends . Aft that , he went home .
So , meet alan , weichiang bro , guolong laopa && guosheng at the market . {:
Guolong laopa was drunk . Drinking again .
Almost drunk . Luckily bt , i still wasnt .
Accompany them for tonning .
Hais ! Guolong laopa , cheerup mans ! D;
..... 6.30pm , gg home for my sleeping-beauty . Tried ! ): Hahaha.

Sometimes i might felt that , i'm nt meant to be happy .
I've had some hard times over my life . Depressed*

280509

2009-05-27T17:15:00.000-07:00

Old pic ! (18102008)

Last night , wrote my 4th letter to zw .
Today gonna post my 3rd plus e' 4th letter to him . (:
Im wondering , whn are you gonna reply my letter ?
Or whn im gonna received your letter anw ?
Im still awaiting for your replied ! ):
Hais ! My dreaming last night have your real .
Realised my dream is true , isnt it ?
Bt , hope that i can received your letter soon . {:

Ytd aft my briefin , went to amk meet the two couples
of my cheryl mei && weicong . && weicong small bro is coming toos .
Was abt 4pm , k-box for 4 hrs' to 7pm .
Drink Drink Drink !! ~

What a terrible day which i have for this yrs' only for this month, may?!
Eversince, started to meet zw on thy day on 080509.
On 100509, whn he went in db. On the next day, i started to drink.
Most likely, for the everyday was drinking.
Hmmm.. Just to dk why was it was?
Im over full/flow of drinking alr. Idl to drink anw.
Is just that friends wanna me to
or asked for drink tgt or somethings else.
Then i accompany them for a drink.
Drinking Drinking Drinking, Drunk Drunk!!!!!
Something's lyk numbling ourself.
Sigh! Hating vomit again && agian.
Drunk is a most worst things/happened.
Eh. Btw, this month is gonna past. Just for 3more days left.
Hopefully, starting for today.
Drink Drink Dink, go away go away!:D
Better get off/away frm me.
Getting less drinking.(:
Hope next month will be better.
Wishes, tml will be better.{:

Holyshit!
Ok , now which i could realised.
Friends is totally sucks at all!
All are liar! No one is true.
What does it called a true friends?
They can make you laughs?
They will be around when you needs them?
They know the secrets and could never tell?
They will break through your shell when you'r quiet?
They will pull you aside when something ain't right?
They will talk w you now && into the night till it's alright agian and no need to pretend?
They don't get angry when you change the plans?
True friends will go to the ends of the earth till they find the things you need?
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs?
Cos' they've got someone to believe in?
Oh, can someone is going to tell me?
I am so sicking && tired of my friends, really.
My friends? Since like i have much more friends that i have.
Dosen't mean that thier real/true to me.
Ohs , like i really have no friends at all !
Friends won't be there for you when you need them.
Well, is alright to be alone better than w those fking friends now who always hanging around
like animals. I won't be making those friends w the hell damn fk like right now.
I won't be so stupid. Damn it, Forget it!
Whatever. I know who was pretending. Who was right or wrong.
&&I Myself know who was it, thats enough for me.
I dosen't want to Cares' anymore!
Ok, shall stop mention about it!
nt fair, unfair!!

Alright, shall stop here for my preparation!
takecares people(!)

270509

2009-05-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

G.Morning people ! (;
Lesson/briefin at 1pm ltr.
Wish.Me.Good.Luck.Ya ?!

will be back to post . (:
stay turn for the news !

Once again all alone.
I suppose, I must deserve it.
I'm clingy and annoying.
Obnxious and dense.
Rash and silly.
Lazy and obsessive.
Sometimes I hate myself.
I want to draw people in.
But only push them away.
I cry so much lately.
Because everything hurts.
Maybe I'm not meant to be happy.
I force my smile.
I fake my laugh.
Does anyone notice?
Does anyone care?
It's not "Like Me" to be so
Depressed? Upset? Angry/frustrated?
What is 'like me'?
Someone tell me,
Because I don't know myself anymore.
Once again, as before.
I'm all alone.

260509

2009-05-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my Childhood-Playmate , Xiaoen ! :D

G.Afternoon ! (; Ytd 7.30pm , meet ahboy bro && leon at bugis mrt station .
Aft that g bugis.S for shop && accompany them g look for zw the gan-nuer leelian . (:
Thanks ahboy bro bought me a new dress && belt . :D
..... Wait till 10pm , leelian release frm work . .. Took bus63 down to geylang lor 11 .
Walk to lor 15 the 'Shen hua' pub again .
Accompany them for drink.
... Drink smoking Drink smoking Drunk ~
............ 4am , going home tgt . {:

Sigh !
It been a 2weeks-2days.....
Everywhr i go , everywhr i were .
Your soul is always surrounded around me.
Your things && something which is included to you is always
surrounded or appear around me toos .
Can someone tell me why ?
Im so sick of it ! ):
Tell me how am i gonna forget you this month goes by ?
Cos' im being tired , tiring for you .
I rly dnt wanna increase my stress anymore .
Bt, im gonna tell that ; I still Miss you.D:

250509

2009-05-24T19:59:00.000-07:00

Im so missed my these "Old pic!" hair . D:

So Much Pain Behind the Eyes.....
why sometimes out of the blue, i feel so low, so useless, so depressed?
why do i want to sit and cry?
when there is nothing wrong?
why do i feel so uneasy, so sad?!
why do i have pain, when i sit and think i just wanna cry it all away
why do i feel this way?!
nothing happened yet to make me feel like this.
is just comes out of the blue, why me?
am i the only one that this happens to?
why does the pain go so deep?!
where did this pain come from?
is it just a phase or is it always goin to be like this?!
why all of a sudden im so depressed?

240509

2009-05-23T22:22:00.000-07:00

G.Afternoon ! (;
ARGH! Ps. Im lazy to post abt ytd .
One word shortcut - Drunk ~
&& one sentence - went yishun weicong house , parry was w us toos . {:

The feelings are stirring once again.
&& i am running on empty.
Part of me wants to run away.
The other wants to revert to who i was
&& low self esteem sets in.
I don't want to go back to who i was.
But i'm afraid i'm going that way.
&& loosing my sanity.
Its like loosing a best friend.
I need help.
&& i need it now !
But my voice isn't working.
&& now i'm in turmoil.
A tormented soul, wandering the earth.
Who feels alone?
Even though, I am surrounded by the ones i love.
I am so lost!
&& the words so true.
I am reverting back!
&& i have everything to loose .

230509

2009-05-22T20:29:00.000-07:00

Closeup face =.='

Snap by nicole mei ! :D

G.Morning ! (;
Ytd 8pm plus , nicole mei come over my place area to meet me && slack tgt .
So whn she's reaching , went down && find her .
..... 9.30pm plus , went area around the kopitiam for toilets .
Then was so concidence meet until my sk peepos around .
LOLS . :D whn they are going off to chalet . Nicole mei accompany me to find eddie .
Cos' eddie && darryl was w 3 uncle was at the kopitiam drinking.
Haahs , was damns funny that the uncle drunk ((:
Joking around w us =.=" at that chitchat , slacking , eating , smoking && drinking
until was abt 11pm , nicole mei have to go home luhs .
So accompany her wait for cab . ... Aft she went back to koptiam to accompany eddie
for drinking . Until was abt 12am , off to home . {:

im feeling down,
to say the least,
depression is hanging over me,
like a great big beast.

nobody can understand,
they never ever will,
my happiness is dead,
i feel like i could kill.

i dont want anybody to know,
i will lose many friends,
so i just sitting down alone,
trying to ignore the emotional bends.

my family thinks im a wimp,
which i think i might be,
but my friends say im not,
as they give me a cup of tea.

i tell them to stop worrying,
theres nothing they can do
except leave me alone,
to wallow im self-pity..

this is how i've been feeling for a few weeks now & for the last time, im not telling anybody..... it will only make things worse for myself && nobody could possible understand anyway.D;

220509

2009-05-21T21:01:00.000-07:00

Ytd 7pm plus , meet kelvin didi at aljunied mrt station . Aft that mrt down to cityhall . ... Went suntec to meet ahboy & one of his friend . Marina.S .. Was abt 10pm plus , kelvin didi accompany me go && fine grace . ..... Ohs , finally get to see her alr . :D haahs , it been a long times didnt see her && she becames skinny alr . {: ..... Great , chitchatting awhile then we have to go home luhs .

Depressed? Sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness && sometimes suicidal tendencies. All im now. Sigh! Who can help me?

&& Nw i have realised that "Your love is a lie"
I shouldnt waste so much times && the effort on you .
Isnt worth it ! Why are you happening lyk that ?