100509

Happy Mother day's !

Morning ! (; Hmmm .. Ytd not much msg as that day .
Was messaging grace , andy , junyu , zhengwei , nicholas , xiaovan mei , amanda && yanting mei . (:
Totally sent 81-msg . :D At least better than thy day .
ARGHS !! Im getting frustrated again . The fking friendster is damns lag nws aday .

&& FCUK FUCK !! FUCK IT !
Im so confused right now ! My tears are dripping ! );
Why ? Headache. It sppining around !
Im getting sick. Suck it !!

can someone tell me
why does this feeling always come and go?
each time it come, searching for me.
i got so affected.
so empty.
then i started to teared.
& when its finally gone,
i felt for a moment that
i can move on
i can let go..
but it don't last.
will i even affect you?
):

Having a bad day ;
Hais ! I can't get to sleep well last night .
Lying down at my bed for the 1/2hrs' .
Keep on turning around && round .
Im sleepy , forcing myself to sleep .
But i still can't sleep . Can't close my eyes .
Im feeling badly & terrible ! ):
This is because of zhengwei he ytd was missing that nicholas told me . Where is he ?
All of us as his friends are searching for this answer toos .
Then , nicholas them was so busy looking && finding him around the whole tm , pasir ris && simei . But there's still dosen't have any of his news , can't find him as well . Everybody is worrying abt him . Making me feel this toos .
I feel that im troublesome for making everyone have to find him out .
Can't contact/call through his hp . Num busy , hp off .
He is missing almost for the 24hr or the whole day .
-Telling ricky daddy what happen && what can i do ?
-Calling yanting mei && tell her , ask her for help .
-After that , fuhao calling && say will help out toos .
Thanks && sorry for alls !

Luckily , late night he is back . Thanks god , glad . {:

Sigh*
I rly dk what should i do right now !
Tell me what should/can i do ?! Hellos ?!
Is somebody right out there can save me ?
Who can help me to over come this fear ?
who?
Chances ? What can i give ?
Once this question were asking me over && over agian .
I am afaird . Im feeling more && more afaird worsen .
This feeling was so worst & terrible .
Im sorry zw , i rly feel so sorry fr you .
I dont have the feelings for eu . Well , i did have a feels for you .
But is nt that feel . Is a kind of feeling guilty && pity fr you .
Idk what to do && what to say .
Sometimes Somehow , i have a thought to try to move on && have a new r/s .
But what ? I am feeling so terrible && am afaird more & more .
For the previous have is all hurts . So , i can say right now is that i dnt have a turst on/in guys alr . Whatever gone is means gone forever .
My phobia deeply was in love .
Im feeling so weak =( Im weak in love .
This scar will/wont be cure in my life . It live in my life forever && the forever, always.
I can't get to try a new one . No matter how i want . Bt , cames over myself this feeling that nobody can understand . As i told you as before that im sure that eu will regret for the one day .
&& you told me won't . No , you'r wrong . You nvr knw me well enough . I'm nt the one for you . I wasn't . I know that you are a nice guy . I wont forget you treat me good . Really thanks anyway . Bt , i still cant accept you . I cnt accept in new r/s . I hope that you can find a better girl/the person than me . Im sorry , boy . 我不会忘了, 你的好.