091008

Can't help it. Still miss you. I feel so out of place. Like a fish out of water. Stuck, waiting for a wave to wash me back to sea. Can't recall how many days. This swim has been taking. See myself cause it's cold & when you're not w me. See I can't wait to have it. Cause I'm so used to you. Baby w/o you, it's so difficult. Though it's the end of the road. I still feel cupid's arrow. I was so used to living in your shadow. It's like I'm rushing to get home. Keep believing you'll be there but you're gone. Why? Still living in your shadow. One day I'll move on. Stand out on the pavement. && I'm searching for traces. Cause the scent of your perfume still lingers in the air. Feeling more like a patient. Hais! I just don't know why. Time I just check myself and cause your voice isn't fading. Can't get you out of my head. It's like your heart is a magnet. && I'm so drawn to you. Living w/o you is so difficult. It's strange cause I never got to plead my case. You broke away & left me stranded here in the states. No choice, But the scar on a brand new slate. I know I can't replace you but I'm told. One day I'll leave your shadow. And is you whose the one which told or telling me not to go. && Not to leave you. You say you won't leave me. Why must you lies on me? You was the one who leave me alone. Why? Don't even know why. I'm really sorry. Sorry for the past that i have been treating you hurting you badly. I am a bad girl. I know. Sorry. I knew was no use when i am saying sorry or regretting. Cause it all too late. You told me that you have given me alots of chance. I didn't treasure you well. I don't even show much in Cares'. All i know. But you didn't realise. My part of living is that. I will not shows. Will not shows out. But It was all those Cares' in my heart. I am shy. I don't know how to say/tel you out. I don't know why Since that we are begin together. I still likes that. It hard that you could accept me to helping to change me. No one who did that. It was my fault. All was me. Was me causes in. But I was trying. Since that i have started to changing myself. Cause I wanted/wanna to be a better person. You ends w me. It hard. The hardest things. It times to let go. Let it go. I never ever do this/that before. This is my first times that was really in hurts & love. I never ever love a person till dying. How? How am i going to letting you go when i was too much in love w you? Slowly. I was trying. But i just can't get you out of my mind && heart. You'll never understand. Now i hope that you will forgive me what i have done to you. "Goodbye loves ' I've alr try my best. Idk wht cn i do. I wish to tel him i still rly in w love him. I miss him. She just wanna you to be happy && good luck boy. Thanks for thy memories. I was happily being tgt w eu. Bt, ere' is no chance le. I hope tht he cn forgive me. Byes *" Hope that you can find happiness and a better sweeterns girl in your next part of your life.


Don't know. I really don't know. Hais! It times to let go. I now only just wants to give up everythings in my life. Since after thats happens. It happens many things to me. Crying for everydays. Don't know why And Don't know everythings. Why just can't i stop my tears for keeping on tripping. Keep on staving myself. It all in suffer. Suffer all the pain i have. I knews that others still have suffer thy hardest pain more than me. But, i was just can't think now. Is all i only can think was myself. I don't know why. I really miss the past. Was really miss. Miss the past of me. The past of me won't have so much problems. It won't have too much than my life now. I have already change. Now always many thinking/thought. I was really bring Ya All much troubles. Really sorry. I am differents from/to the past. The past of me was happy. Sometimes may be sad. But Now was totally gone. I have nothing. Now the me was such a troublesome. I just can't understand that, why Ya All have to worry me? It my problems. Why Ya All should have worrying abouts me? I am a bad person. Why Ya All still wanna Cares'? I really don't wanna drag Ya All down till the same w me. Cause Ya All still have yours' problems. I don't want Ya All to plus my troubles in. I am differents. I was keep on thinking at times. Was that the truth that Ya All are really in Cares' to me? My mind was telling me thats It all was a fake. I really don't know what should i do. I don't know what can i do to make myself till my past personal life that i have. I don't know why i could hurt like this. I really don't know why i keep on hurting myself. I don't know how am i going to cure mine this kind of the pain and institution. I wanted happiness everyday in my life. Why can't i? Why? Was that i am a foolish thinking? Am i really causes Ya All troubles? Sorry.


Really thanks for begin there for me [ Grace, jacq babe, tzewei, peiyi, alexiis mei, xiaovan mei, shiming, darren piggy, starry, Ricky daddy, ahkelbaba, huiling dear, ben, weichiang bro, guolong laopa, alan, ziyang didi, ziliang, shermen, wafiy, beibei, meibao, cheekin bro, shijie bro, edmund, ahboi, freda, puxiu, shiwen, jason, rachel && darryl. ]