210509

Happy birthday to Ahbee &&
Happy birthday to Shifong didi ! (;

Ytd night , wrote a 3rd letter to him .
Sigh ! This time lyk i couldnt stop myself for writing a letter to him .
I feel lyk writing a daily letter to him .
Bt , it coudnt be .....

Hais ! I rly dk what to do or what cn i do...
Im so depressed ! Why ? Why , How i came to this world ?
Why ? Im damns usless , for everyone in their eyes .
Im such a loser lyk who ever says . Am i rights ?
Whatever i do/try , there is nth more success in my life .
For each step that i took/walk , i was keep on falling .
For each stand , i cnt/wont be able to stable .
I rly do hate myself much for letting everyone for troublesome .
My mindset are all confused && gone .
&&Nw im damn sick, weak & tired.
Im so tired , tired in my life .
I dosen't want to Cares' anymore .
I feel lyk giving-up everythings in my life .
My life is totally so meaningless . Is pointless to continue my life , isnt it ?

Whatever nw ,
I tired to listen .
I tired to always be there .
I tired to be fair .
I tired to be a friend , a person & somebody .
I tired to understand .
I gave all I could .
For myself I made a stand .
I let myself trust someone i could .
In everyone I confided .
To everyone I was true .
&& Yet all this wasn't enough .
Because it's I who can't pretend .
I were never real .
And it was me who lost myself.
I cnt find myself............
I cnt find myself way back .
No one could understand hw i felt .
No one is there can understand hw i feel .
Sometimes Somehow , right now , I rly wanted/needs a counseller .
I need someone talk to . But , there is no-one ! I feel so badly ! );
Is someone who is willing to be my lil' ears ?
Is someone who is willing to be there for me ?
Is someone who is willing to save me ?
How am i supposed to live w a happy life ?
How am i gonna to be a stronger girl ? Tell me ?
i mean now..

( Sometimes i feel i would be better to leave this world )

Despressed , Insecure , Pathetic , Useless && Failure .....

there is nth more that i cn do.
希望能够找回她自己