010109

Peepos 2009 ! (; && goodbyes to 2008 !

Ytd went serangoon tzewei house t find grace , tzewei && peiyi . Countdown for 2009 . :D Nice for that . ... btw , sorry for lettin' Ya All being much troubles for me . Thanks for tzewei father send me t amk . Thanks for all anw . (: .. Aft reaching ricky house around there . 3am we meet . ..... His parents sibeh funny == LOLS . ............ Aww ... Sibeh tried ! Gonna g t slp luhs .
(Those 15msg ^^ Thanks for all the msg that i have been received by Ya All.)Stay happy ya ! No doubt ! ;DD Happy new yrs' ! Imma here to wish everyone stay in heathy life joy && all the best for this new yr!!
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"And if i make it through today , will tml be the same ? Am i just running in place ? && if i stumble & i fall , should i get up && carry on or will it all just be the same ?" So long has my life been stuck , on the repeat switch , over && over again . The days just kept coming , all the same feelings , just different thoughts & different words coming out of my mouth . It's lyk when you've fallen so far && hard , there's a rope & all you have t do is pull it && things start t get better . Bt you have t be ready t pull the rope & let it all g , t pull yourself up && move on . Bt tml isn't going t be , the same as today anymore , it's time t walk away , time t move on , you can't stay in this perpetual sadness forever ! There's nth called forever !! Why is it that you only start t pull yourself out , when you've hit the bottom & are going nowhr ? Why is that ppl don't pull out sooner , before it gets worse ? Maybe it's because things have t get worse , before they cn get better & they knw that they can't keep going on lyk this . I've finally turned the switch off , pulled the rope , ready t push that door in my mind && let the sun shine in . I'm ready nw . Bt i'm still afraid , because i'll be letting g a part of me , that's been there for so long , always . Bt it's for the best in the end , i can't keep going nowhr . This chapter in my life , is coming t a close . I knw that i'm still going t be , sad sometimes && life isn't going t get any easier , just harder . Bt it will be different . I'm pulling myself tgt . "Picked all my weeds && kept the flowers . Bt i knw that it's nvr rly over ."

I sit alone in the darkness. Waiting. Waiting for him to come back to me. Can he hear my cries? Can he feel my tears? Can he sense my breaking heart?! Hw cn this be that he can't see me? Is it because i'm sitting alone in the darkness? I, just walk past everyone as if i were invisible.Can he see me nw? Can he see the pain he caused me? I think i should move on, bt something tells me to wait.

It's my heart. I'll give him one last chance. He needs to prove his love to me.As i return to sit alone in the darkness. Waiting.....

HOPE THIS YRS', THINGS WILL BE GETTING BETTER ON! HAPPY @2009!!

time flies.
looking back over the entire 2008,
its been rly a different yr for myself.
i rly miss those secondary sch days.
ever since i gt to ite,
i think i've changed.
lol.(anw, it since that i have quit ite.));
in the mjr, most of the times, we were enjoying
we laughed & played at every at every single thing.
everyone was bond tgt.
even though we'r in different classes.
== Sigh!~
days are normal, boring,
ewwwwww.
next yr will be a better, i hope!
& i'm going t be 18 next yr,
starting from today! Hahaha;D

311208

just 291208 get frm ahboi on that day the photo that have wash out . Idiot that he have lost the memory card . So cn't send t us luhs . K.N.S ! ;DD LOLS . :D Its ok lahs ! Ha ! So imma bl && g use my hp g take lors . =) ==!(NT CLEAR ARGHS !!)__Ugly pic!!!!!D;

Hellos 2008 ! Today is the last day of the 2008yrs' luhs . Aft today , there is nomore turning back anymore . Nomore There is no more . && tml will be 2009 luh.:D Day past by past going quite fast . What will happen t next turn ? Hais ! (; Hope tml will be getting better on . (: So Teasure the last today of yourself && Imma here t wish everyone HAPPY NEW YRS' !All the best for tml ! Enjoy the last of today !
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Stanley skinny ah .. boxim siol ! (; Kns eu uhs . Nvr give . D;(There are no failures in life just set backs. Look Ahead && Nt Behind)
Cherly mei, Cycena, Grace.:SIGH!!! What happen t Ya All?! WTH is happening? Today is the last day of 2008 luh. Must stay happy alrights? Today must be a happy day! NO SAD ANYMORE! Last of today, aft today there will nomore today/ytd luhs. Hais ! There is no longer 2008 what we had. Must stay happy ok? Bt whatever happens happens. "Let bygones be bygones and dont obsess over the past". Jiayou !! Catch up !
*Gods pls bless everyone & pls make my wishes comes true to me && i hope that things will be fine all the ways i wanted it to be.
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Love . It's a wierd thing , isn't it ? Even the most obsessive , most passionate of love cn fade . Have you ever felt lyk maybe a certain love defines you ? Like it's been part of you for so long you just can't imagine letting go ?

301208

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T CYNDI ! (;
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I move on lyk a sinners prayer . I let em' g lyk a levee breaks . Walk away as if i don't cares' . Learn t shoulder my mistakes . I'm built t fade lyk your favorite song . Getting reckless when there's no need . Laugh as your stories ramble on . Break my heart bt it won't bleed . My only friends are pirates , it's just who i am . I'm better as a memory than as your girl . I'm nvr sure when the truth won't do . I'm pretty gd on a lonely night . I move on the way a storm blows through . I nvr stay , bt then again , i might . I struggle sometimes t find the words always sure until i doubt . Walk a line until it blurs . Build walls too high t climb out . Bt , i'm honest t a fault , it's just who i am . I'm better as a memory than as your girl . I see you leanin' , you're bound t fall . I don't wanna be that mistake . I'm just a dreamer , nothing more . You should knw it before it gets too late . Cos' goodbyes are lyk a roulette wheel you nvr knw whr they're gonna land . First you're spinning , then you're standing still . Left holding a losing hand . One day you're gonna find someone . Right away , you'll knw it's true that all of your seeking is done . Its just a part of the passing through . Right there in that moment . You'll finally understand . That i was better as a memory than as your girl .

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Today g bugis S' t by my new slippers . Aft that meet shijie bro at city hall . While i was satting down waiting for my bro . I have a thought . I was wondering Wondering why was everybody w a smiling faces && a happy faces . What are they thinking in thier mind ?! (; i was so curious w . Hmmm .. Shijie bro looks lyk changing alots ! ;DD It been a long times nvr met luhs . Hais ! I was thinking what was cheryl mei been doing these fews day period of a time ? Are she fine ?! I hope that she was doing fine within these aday . && i was worry abt she && cycena . Dk what they haven been thinking . Do cheerups , alrights ?! Stay strong Nth cn beat us down de ok ?! In no matter what . ........... WHAT A BIG SIGH ~(there is always too much t say)

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i was trying up .
3 Cheers 2 True Love.:It's best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that's available. It's best to wait for the right one because life is too short to waste on just someone.

291208

'Wings of Fate'

'Wings of Fate' is a concept that I thought of on winged beings. The raven is usually a symbol or omen of death, and the butterfly has long been a Christian symbol of resurrection.
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只要大家开心那就已经足够了 .
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I'm nt waiting around for a man t save me(Cos' i'm happy whr i am) Don't depend on a guy t validate me . I don't need t be anyone's baby(Is that so hard t understand?) No , i don't need another half t make me whole . Make your move if you want . Doesn't mean i will/won't . I'm free t make my mind up . You either gt it/you don't . This is my current single status . My declaration of independence . There's no way i'm trading places . Right nw a star's in reascendant . I'm single(Right nw) That's hw i wanna be . I'm single(Right nw) That's hw im gonna be . Don't need t be on somebody's arm t look gd(I lyk whu i am) I'm nt saying i don't wanna fall in love cos' i would . I'm nt gonna get hooked up just cos' you say i should(Can't romance on demand) I'm gonna wait so i'm sorry if you misunderstood . Everything in it's right time everything in its right place . I knw i'll settle down one day . Bt till then i lyk it this way , it's my way . Ehs . I lyk it this way . Make your move if you want doesn't mean i will/won't . I'm free t make my mind up you either gt it/you don't . Till then i'm single .

291208

The pic is fading away ...
WTH PIC ?!
Back luhs . Depends nt t do that agian . Hais ! What a fool/foolish i am ? Im changing for everyday , isn't it ? Why everyone is seeking for love ? What is somethings lacking in my life ? Hmmm .. Ytd went t kovan slack w garce && cailing lors . =) CHILL__ Aft 9pm plus I && grace g hougang t ahboi house t slack awhiles . (: Stanley && shelton didi-Get well soon !!
Hais ! What happens t mine cheryl mei ?!
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There's a story in her eyes . Lullabies && goodbyes . When she's looking back at me . I cn tell her heart is broken easily . Cos' the girl in my mirror is crying out tonight . && there's nth i cn tell her t make her feel alrights ! (; the girl in my mirror is crying cos' of you . && i wish there was something . Something i could do . If i could , i would tell her . Nt t be afraid . The pain that she's feeling . The sense of loneliness will fade . So dry your tears & rest assured . Love will find you lyk before . When she's looking back at me . I knw nth rly works that easily . I can't believe it's what i see , that the girl in the mirror . The girl in the mirror ; Is me !!Uplaod that day pic .. Cheerup cycena !!!!!

251208

Today went t sengkang(ah-yi house) t celebrate christmas day ! (; Argh ! Wenhao is super-cute !! ;D Thanks for my cousin(yicong && jiajia) t be my listening ear . && thanks my ahyi for the christmas gift !!!!! LAST MERRY CHIRSTMAS T EVERYONE ! Enjoy ^^
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Friends doesn't need more. 2/3 best or gd friends just that its enough. Nw, i just felt that friends dosen't meant t me anymore.....
Hais ! (; Why am i torturing myself agian && agian ? Why ? I just want t knw why ? Imma feel so tried of all Tired of my life . Im so sick of it . Im freaking hell usless ! I hate myself for sometime giving so much acttiduce towards others && my parents. I am sorry for the times . PAINFUL~bury me up, alrights ?
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Make a wish && place it in your heart . Anything you want , everything you want . Do you have it ? Gd . Nw believe it cn come true . You nvr knw whr the next miracle is gonna come from , the next smile , the next 'wish come true' . Bt if you believe that it's right around the corner && you open your heart && mind t possibility of it , t the certainty of it . You just might get the thing you're wishing for . The world is full of magic . You just have t believe in it . So make your wish . Do you have it ? Gd . Nw believe in it , w all your heart ...

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Life cn be so unbelievable at times . I mean things you g through minute by minute , day by day , until its just a sheer memory of something that once was . When i look back , there is a lot of stuff that i should have nvr put myself through . Let alone anyone else . Bt then i think would i change it ? Idk . Cos' if i did i wouldnt' be the person that i am today . Sometimes , we need t g through the bad , because there is a lesson in everything . Everything is a learning experience && its what life is all abt . Being smart enough t change your course && nvr heading down the same dead end road twice . Sometimes we DO need t lose the faith in a person , because if you dont , you'll be heartbroken && left decieved every single time . Ppl are human & they are bound t fuck up , bt are they man enough t admit when wrong && step up t the plate t make it better ? If they arent' .. then its nt your fault . You just have t realize that they arent' as strong as you thought they were && you have t move on . && most importantly . You have t realize that everyone isnt' going t be lyk that one person . && thats what im still learning .

• I need t learn t move on . I need t realize that no matter what words were said . No matter what feelings && futures were supposedly shared . That its just nvr going t happen . Cos' he isnt' the person i thought he was .
• I need t realize that nt everyone out there is like him . I knw there are hearts im continuing t break because of my ability t move on from the wrong one . Bt its me && ill deal w it . There are others that are continuing t show me that there is still gd ppl left in this world && i cant give up hope just because on one heartbreak .

251208

HAPPY BIRTHDAY T JACQ BABE & A HAPPY VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS T YOU ! (; x3 && (thanks for everybody wish!!)IMMA WISH YA ALL A HAPPY MERRY MERRY VERY CHRISTMAS !! ;D

Fking hate guys take number from me ! Damn it !! Hate crowded places .
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Why cn i see everyone is happy ? What is their mind thinking ? Why cn't just i see myself happy for the everytime ? Hais !(you cn see what im happy w each every single smile && laugh bt , deep inside my heart is crying . Nobody gotta notice !)
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"I'm Over You"

strong? Happy, smile && laugh? Just pretending . I hope i will soon be ... But one thing is im sure of ; this time though it hurts so much , there's no turning back anymore .

Happiness && Self Improvement.:Life changes every day , even when things appear constant on the surface . We cry , we love , we interact , we grow , we learn – We , change every day . What’s perfect today may turn out t be nt so perfect tml aft all , that’s what life is.

Life is change . Everything in life changes from minute t minute . That is what we as humans do . No one cn predict for another the outcome of the choices they make . Whether the choice be gd or bad each must follow their own heart . If it is gd we cn rejoice w them if it does nt work we cn be a shoulder an open door for them t come & talk abt it w/o judgements.

241208

WAKAO ! ~ Nb ccb ! Friendster kanphua sibeh lag lahs ! Dk what happens w fking fs . Sibeh dulan !! Damns KNN .

You love has got me addicted
said idk

tell me if time should make a change
then why do i feel the same
i knw i gotta move on bt im so addicted t you

Lyrics That Speak To The Heart.:Chasing Pavements: "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere? Or would it be a waste? Even if I knew my place, should I leave it there?"

She Will Be Loved: "It's not always rainbows and butterflies. It's compromise that move us along."

Apologize: "I loved you with a fire red. Now, it's turning blue. And you say sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you. But I'm afraid it's too late to apologize."

Sober: "This could break my heart or save me. Nothing's real until you let go completely...I don't know I could crash and burn but maybe at the end of this road, I might catch a glimpse of me."

231208So tired of tears.

Morning everyone ! (; What a big sigh ! ~ Imma eyes sibeh pain)';

HEY CAUTION * Beware-If some boy called bum_t@hotmail.com adds you , eu don't accept it cos' its a hacker . Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them , eu will get them on your list too . He'll figure out OUR ID computer address . So , forward t everyone even if you dont cares' for/whatever them && pls be fast . Cos' if he hacks their e-mail , he'll hacks yours too !

Hmmm .. ARGHS ! Last mins , they say g slack . Lols! Gg hougang meet grace && jacq babe luhs .

stayturnya! .....

Was it am i being thinking too much ? Hais ! Thanks alots ricky !!

The way t live.: We all must rmb that the gd things in life will come towards us by itself if we do our best t fight for it && t belive in it . Like the song sounds: "Always look on the bright sight of life"

Hais ! I feel so tired , no matter hw much i slp i feel tired . Emotionally . I feel just so tired . Its rly weird though , do you think its a diease or just my imagination ? Maybe i need a counselling . When i am free , i would think . Think about all sorts of things && recently i was thinking abt my life . What should i be in the future ? Cn i make it ? Ppl around me always say that i need t study && stuff t make the best out of it & then i would have a satisfying job && stuff . So what is the art of being able t be motivated t study ? What do you have t do t get motivated ? Idk . I just keep thinking & thinking & i get more tired . && when i try t get myself some rest , my brain would become relaxed && it would try t think again . Its lyk trying t push a full blown ballon down the bottom of the lake , trying t sink it , bt i comes up again && again . I even have problems sleeping . I would forget things nw & then && sometimes in a split second or longer , would totally forget who i was && i would be so scared of the next relapse . I didn't tell my parents && it was genetic . I can't help it , my parents can't help it , nobody can help it , so i didn't bother t tell since that wouldn't make a difference . What are my goals ? I once considered suicide .....

Do you have goals?

221208

Ahboi mother ! (;(L)
Kenneth !! MUHAHAHAS ! ;DD

Ytd , meeting grace && jacq babe at hongang inter . Haas . Thanks grace duag for the present ((: && thanks jacq babe toos for my lately b'day wish . :D ♥ Thanks alots uhs . Aft that we take 72bus t g ahboi sister de birthday bbq ! ;DD HAAPY BIRTHDAY T QIUXIA !! ;D ..... Shengtong && Kenneth !! Long times no see luhs . Haas . All the best ! Aft bbq . We went up t ahboi house t slack awhiles . Grace wants t drink . Then have a drink abits lors . =) Ha ! ........... 11.30pm was waiting for 88bus t g amk find ricky daddy ! Haahs , you see i so gd nia ~ Hmmm .. Ricky daddy-Thanks alots for accompany me ! (; Ehs . I knw that you are tired le hors . && Sorry for letting eu too tiring & so troublesome you have t accompany me . Ps . && rly sorry for the troublesome eu . Sorry for that . Btw , thanks anw . (: (L)

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Life is nvr a straight line . When one door is opened you don't see one bt a million doors infront of you . In life there's lil' time && it gives you a short time t choose . Which from those million doors should i choose .
(When i walk pass an Automatic Door. && it opens for me. I worry that if i don't g through it , i'll Hurt it's Feelings)

This can't be real , i've nvr been so confused . Bt if i don't go i'll just be standing still . Then what would life be t me then . If i don't move then i'm numb . I'll be neither happy nor sad . I write what i think & it's based on somethings that i knw && have seen . Music is part of life . Life is music . It's the universe way of expressing itself .

Rebirth.: Sometimes the love that you feel inside gets lost btw your heart & your mind . && you knw you need t move on . Bt it seems the familiar ache of an old life is more bearable than a new one . (What could be sweeter than you?)