310509

LOLS . :D get snap by nicole mei =="

My pic was damn freaking hell mans ! ;DD

G.Morning people ! Awww .. Bloody hell tiring ! ); Nt feeling well . D:
Actually , ytd im supossed to meet cheryl mei , weicong && perry .
Endup im nt meeting them luh. Cos' of my slippers problem . Ewww ..
In the last mins , my mother had bought a slippers for me .
So , went to meet nicole mei at aljunied mrt station by 6.15pm plus . (:
Cos' we are going to bugis.S to look for job . While reaching bugis station .
My jiahua lil' boss call me . Haahs , he say that he saw me ((:
Awhile ltr went for a smoke . Was so concidence met till nicole mei 3 of her friends .
&& was so concidence that matthew is also there .
So went bugis.S tgt . :D ... aft that went to to slack . ..
8pm plus , accompany them went to pool also .
Lols. Aft nicole mei , my turn =.= ... I didnt even hw t play , anw .
Bt nicole mei her friend is teaching me . So i learned to how to play abits .
Was abt time is going to 9pm . I have to g t meet kelvin didi luhs .
So nicole mei went w me toos . Cos' they are staying nearby toos .
.. Was abt 10pm , reaching marine terence area to meet my kelvin didi slack tgt .
While nicole mei bring her precious dog pepper down tgt . Hahaha.
Time was going to 11.30pm . Kelvin didi have to went down t tm le .
Cab back t my house . Thanks nicole mei for the slippers && cab fare .
Told you nt to . Bt eu still nt to listening =.=" Anw , i still have to thanks thanks you lots . {:

While reaching home , i received a letter frm zhengwei ! :D
Yeahs ! (; i was so excited of receiving his letter , anw . (:
Haahs , was glad that i've finally received his letter ((:
He wrote this letter on 240509 .
The crazy of me =.=' Hmmm .. I rly dk should i trust you ?
Should i trust you love to me , are all in real ?
Will you willing change your life && do everything for me ?
Is that truth ? I cnt believe that you cn do it . Cos' i knw that you dont truly/rly love me .
You'r just treating me lyk a games . Im sorry , I guess ..... Ps.

I LOVE YOU
I MISS YOU
I NEED YOU
8 letters 3 words 1 meaning

♥'xzw, thanks. thanks for the everything anw.{:
bt i cnt believe that you rly cn do it or rly willing because of me.
i do believe the words/sentence which is "I MISS YOU"
thanks!(; &&im gonna tell that 'I MISS YOU MORE'.....
your letter will be postpone for tml;D

300509

Last night, i've my bad dream.....
I was kinda depressed. Cos' my life was so sucks!
I hate myself damn alots!
Headache, maybe i was not in enough sleep as well.
Im sick, right now. && the real soon .

Sigh! Sometime Somehow, i was thinking to be a eduacation-girl.
I was so envy those schoolling people! ):
...But i know that day won't be come.
Cos' thy day is past quite a long times.
Once the time is past, Once it over is mean over.
You can't turn back the time which or whatever the day that
you spent, what you did & you where you were.
It been a 1yrs'5mth plus. I never been study.
Eversince i quit my ite on the last yr' november times.
But as not counted those day in ite life. Cos' i never seems to be real in school.
&& i never been a schoolling student as well.
Im so missed my secondary school times && those days.
If i could turn back the time && the day.
I will/would be study my studies well on the time.
&& get my well results for getting a better school, courses that i like/intrested, life.
I keep on wonder, wondering if i could go back/trun around the day, the time i am.
I will start to treasure everything on 2007, so in my life now i wouldn't be here.
&& i won't get here. Damn regret, i was a failure.
Cherish, i never been to. By right now, my life, included everything which that i've done.
Was too late for me.....

Alright, shall stop here! Im tired, Gg rest now.
D:D:D:D:D:***

xzw, your letter will be postpone
when im recover...

290509

G.Afternoon peoples ! (;
ARGH! My slippers was just torn abt 2705 the wed . D:
Is someone somebody is gonna help me ?
Is someone somebody is gonna help me to buy one
or bought me back one of my original slippers
at the bugis.S && delivery to my house ?
Is someone somebody is gonna tell me how ?
Bored && sadded ** hais ! Cos' there isnt one people is
willing to help me . Ewww .. Now i just dk how am i going out w/o a outting
slippers alr . Tell me what should i do , Hellos ?!

Ytd nights , was abt 9.30pm .
Xinli he came to find me . :D
Haahs , was quite a long time that we didnt even meet luhs .
Hmmm .. he came to my house downstair of my blk
&& fetch me . ... Went to geylang lor15 to find his friends for pool =.='
.. Was abt 11.45pm , he accompany me walk to my house area
the market && look for my friends . Aft that , he went home .
So , meet alan , weichiang bro , guolong laopa && guosheng at the market . {:
Guolong laopa was drunk . Drinking again .
Almost drunk . Luckily bt , i still wasnt .
Accompany them for tonning .
Hais ! Guolong laopa , cheerup mans ! D;
..... 6.30pm , gg home for my sleeping-beauty . Tried ! ): Hahaha.

Sometimes i might felt that , i'm nt meant to be happy .
I've had some hard times over my life . Depressed*

280509

Old pic ! (18102008)

Last night , wrote my 4th letter to zw .
Today gonna post my 3rd plus e' 4th letter to him . (:
Im wondering , whn are you gonna reply my letter ?
Or whn im gonna received your letter anw ?
Im still awaiting for your replied ! ):
Hais ! My dreaming last night have your real .
Realised my dream is true , isnt it ?
Bt , hope that i can received your letter soon . {:

Ytd aft my briefin , went to amk meet the two couples
of my cheryl mei && weicong . && weicong small bro is coming toos .
Was abt 4pm , k-box for 4 hrs' to 7pm .
Drink Drink Drink !! ~

What a terrible day which i have for this yrs' only for this month, may?!
Eversince, started to meet zw on thy day on 080509.
On 100509, whn he went in db. On the next day, i started to drink.
Most likely, for the everyday was drinking.
Hmmm.. Just to dk why was it was?
Im over full/flow of drinking alr. Idl to drink anw.
Is just that friends wanna me to
or asked for drink tgt or somethings else.
Then i accompany them for a drink.
Drinking Drinking Drinking, Drunk Drunk!!!!!
Something's lyk numbling ourself.
Sigh! Hating vomit again && agian.
Drunk is a most worst things/happened.
Eh. Btw, this month is gonna past. Just for 3more days left.
Hopefully, starting for today.
Drink Drink Dink, go away go away!:D
Better get off/away frm me.
Getting less drinking.(:
Hope next month will be better.
Wishes, tml will be better.{:

Holyshit!
Ok , now which i could realised.
Friends is totally sucks at all!
All are liar! No one is true.
What does it called a true friends?
They can make you laughs?
They will be around when you needs them?
They know the secrets and could never tell?
They will break through your shell when you'r quiet?
They will pull you aside when something ain't right?
They will talk w you now && into the night till it's alright agian and no need to pretend?
They don't get angry when you change the plans?
True friends will go to the ends of the earth till they find the things you need?
Friends hang on through the ups and the downs?
Cos' they've got someone to believe in?
Oh, can someone is going to tell me?
I am so sicking && tired of my friends, really.
My friends? Since like i have much more friends that i have.
Dosen't mean that thier real/true to me.
Ohs , like i really have no friends at all !
Friends won't be there for you when you need them.
Well, is alright to be alone better than w those fking friends now who always hanging around
like animals. I won't be making those friends w the hell damn fk like right now.
I won't be so stupid. Damn it, Forget it!
Whatever. I know who was pretending. Who was right or wrong.
&&I Myself know who was it, thats enough for me.
I dosen't want to Cares' anymore!
Ok, shall stop mention about it!
nt fair, unfair!!

Alright, shall stop here for my preparation!
takecares people(!)

270509

G.Morning people ! (;
Lesson/briefin at 1pm ltr.
Wish.Me.Good.Luck.Ya ?!

will be back to post . (:
stay turn for the news !

Once again all alone.
I suppose, I must deserve it.
I'm clingy and annoying.
Obnxious and dense.
Rash and silly.
Lazy and obsessive.
Sometimes I hate myself.
I want to draw people in.
But only push them away.
I cry so much lately.
Because everything hurts.
Maybe I'm not meant to be happy.
I force my smile.
I fake my laugh.
Does anyone notice?
Does anyone care?
It's not "Like Me" to be so
Depressed? Upset? Angry/frustrated?
What is 'like me'?
Someone tell me,
Because I don't know myself anymore.
Once again, as before.
I'm all alone.

260509

Happy birthday to my Childhood-Playmate , Xiaoen ! :D

G.Afternoon ! (; Ytd 7.30pm , meet ahboy bro && leon at bugis mrt station .
Aft that g bugis.S for shop && accompany them g look for zw the gan-nuer leelian . (:
Thanks ahboy bro bought me a new dress && belt . :D
..... Wait till 10pm , leelian release frm work . .. Took bus63 down to geylang lor 11 .
Walk to lor 15 the 'Shen hua' pub again .
Accompany them for drink.
... Drink smoking Drink smoking Drunk ~
............ 4am , going home tgt . {:

Sigh !
It been a 2weeks-2days.....
Everywhr i go , everywhr i were .
Your soul is always surrounded around me.
Your things && something which is included to you is always
surrounded or appear around me toos .
Can someone tell me why ?
Im so sick of it ! ):
Tell me how am i gonna forget you this month goes by ?
Cos' im being tired , tiring for you .
I rly dnt wanna increase my stress anymore .
Bt, im gonna tell that ; I still Miss you.D:

250509

Im so missed my these "Old pic!" hair . D:

So Much Pain Behind the Eyes.....
why sometimes out of the blue, i feel so low, so useless, so depressed?
why do i want to sit and cry?
when there is nothing wrong?
why do i feel so uneasy, so sad?!
why do i have pain, when i sit and think i just wanna cry it all away
why do i feel this way?!
nothing happened yet to make me feel like this.
is just comes out of the blue, why me?
am i the only one that this happens to?
why does the pain go so deep?!
where did this pain come from?
is it just a phase or is it always goin to be like this?!
why all of a sudden im so depressed?

240509

G.Afternoon ! (;
ARGH! Ps. Im lazy to post abt ytd .
One word shortcut - Drunk ~
&& one sentence - went yishun weicong house , parry was w us toos . {:

The feelings are stirring once again.
&& i am running on empty.
Part of me wants to run away.
The other wants to revert to who i was
&& low self esteem sets in.
I don't want to go back to who i was.
But i'm afraid i'm going that way.
&& loosing my sanity.
Its like loosing a best friend.
I need help.
&& i need it now !
But my voice isn't working.
&& now i'm in turmoil.
A tormented soul, wandering the earth.
Who feels alone?
Even though, I am surrounded by the ones i love.
I am so lost!
&& the words so true.
I am reverting back!
&& i have everything to loose .

230509

Closeup face =.='

Snap by nicole mei ! :D

G.Morning ! (;
Ytd 8pm plus , nicole mei come over my place area to meet me && slack tgt .
So whn she's reaching , went down && find her .
..... 9.30pm plus , went area around the kopitiam for toilets .
Then was so concidence meet until my sk peepos around .
LOLS . :D whn they are going off to chalet . Nicole mei accompany me to find eddie .
Cos' eddie && darryl was w 3 uncle was at the kopitiam drinking.
Haahs , was damns funny that the uncle drunk ((:
Joking around w us =.=" at that chitchat , slacking , eating , smoking && drinking
until was abt 11pm , nicole mei have to go home luhs .
So accompany her wait for cab . ... Aft she went back to koptiam to accompany eddie
for drinking . Until was abt 12am , off to home . {:

im feeling down,
to say the least,
depression is hanging over me,
like a great big beast.

nobody can understand,
they never ever will,
my happiness is dead,
i feel like i could kill.

i dont want anybody to know,
i will lose many friends,
so i just sitting down alone,
trying to ignore the emotional bends.

my family thinks im a wimp,
which i think i might be,
but my friends say im not,
as they give me a cup of tea.

i tell them to stop worrying,
theres nothing they can do
except leave me alone,
to wallow im self-pity..

this is how i've been feeling for a few weeks now & for the last time, im not telling anybody..... it will only make things worse for myself && nobody could possible understand anyway.D;

220509

Ytd 7pm plus , meet kelvin didi at aljunied mrt station . Aft that mrt down to cityhall . ... Went suntec to meet ahboy & one of his friend . Marina.S .. Was abt 10pm plus , kelvin didi accompany me go && fine grace . ..... Ohs , finally get to see her alr . :D haahs , it been a long times didnt see her && she becames skinny alr . {: ..... Great , chitchatting awhile then we have to go home luhs .

Depressed? Sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness && sometimes suicidal tendencies. All im now. Sigh! Who can help me?

&& Nw i have realised that "Your love is a lie"
I shouldnt waste so much times && the effort on you .
Isnt worth it ! Why are you happening lyk that ?