010509

Everything which i feel apart , lost in my life .
Everything which i'll nvr found back .
Everything i cnt take back or to get back .
Is myself problems . I walk out this life .
&& there is nth that i cn turn around .

Sigh*
Im tried , so tried tried !
I feel so sorry to my parents .
I cnt continue t work down alr .
I've been given up for real .
There is so much to say .
There is so much reason .
What you know ?
Is nt i wanna stop or end this job .
I rly wish t continue .
But i cnt did it , is idw to continue .
Cos' i get bullied .
I hate thems ! I hate Hate !!
I try t bear , I try to .

Im tried to be "Normal"
... I rly did try ,
&& i did not like it at all .

&& im so sick right now . Im feeling so unwell . Hais ! ):
I also dk what to explian right here .
Im tried to be said .
I treat everythings to be tried .
Im tried for everything ,
Im so tried for living .

hurt
i knw is over nw is over .
it time to say goodbyes*

290409

Mimi came to my house door this morning ;D
Good-Morning Everyone ! (; tried ~
Im gonna working soon ltr , 10am . (:
I must have faithful in myself ! CHILL*
Wish me good luck ya !
takecares peepos(!)

Alvin didi-You are playing dota lyk mad mans ! I was damn shock that is , you frm the afternoon play till 7pm plus ==' btw , cheerups anw . {:
Andy-Thanks for your morning call ! :D

i've been changing,♥

280409

Current mood : Over Frustrated



Marcus ; pls dnt try t be funny/fool uhs. =='
Andy ; pls nt to/dnt be shy ! :D


Afternoon ! (; wakeup by my alvin didi msg . (: Awww .. I was so tried , nt enough slp ! Hmmm .. Ytd went hougang meet grace && ahboi bro . Big shit damns* Im started t get frustrated again . I just dk why was it was , this adays was so easily get angry && frustrated ?! I hate it ! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK IT !!!!! Was having my my bad mood , nt in the mood ! I also dk wth happening in me ! I cnt control my tempered ! Bt , i've try t control . Nw adays keep on having my hot && bad-tempered badly ! I dnt wish to , bt is have to . Sigh ! I miss my day past badly !! I want to be happy ! ): what's something keep on my mind ?! Angry* Well , ytd what've been making too over :;
1st - hot weather
2nd - bus run off
3rd - ahboi la. what a hot weather/day still ride what bicycle.
making me whole body && face fall all of smelly-sweat!
4th - headache
5th - gotta blame all ahboi faults
DAMN! HATE HATE HATE !!
..... Sigh* while passing-by hougang.Green. I have been thinking && wonder whr have he been to ? Are he avoiding me up somethings else ? Hais ! I miss him so. Is gonna to be mad or for the soon , ok ?! Lyk what i felt that why was he didnt even wanted t contact me ? Was it he found out something ? Or he felt that im irritating or just simply hate me ? SIGH ~~~ Maybe something's have been through , was have been past . Over is means over . Nvr thought of begin lyk these . 'I came to realised we are totally separated.' Hellos ?! God ?! What for ?! In the first place , why bring/took our fate in for ? && Endup wanted me t suffer this pain ?! WTH/F could you told me all this ?! I hate been fallling in love . Im in phobia . Did you knw hw painful while eu are in love ? WHAT A BIG SIGH !! ~ .. Was abt 10pm plus was omw back . Cos' marcus && andy was crazy ! ARGHS ! Haahs , they was around my house area , nt going home . Got to accompany them agian ==' Reaching my house void-deck was abt 11pm . Accompany them slack awhile . Aft that i've gt t g up && bath alr . So they sit at void-deck && wait for me . ..... 12.30am plus , went down . Then i've gt t g coffe-shop && eat . Very hungry . Just having my breakfast only . ... Slack at coffeshop till is gonna be 3am . Then went to somewhr around && slack . .. Sit somewhr near market playground , they was chitchat w one indian guy =.=' haas . Funny them . They keep on disturb the indian guy . LOLS . :D that was crazy ! ..... Just a few hrs pastby. Time is running up t 6am le . Gg home t slp , im.damn.tried!=( .. Accompany me t my house . Thanks . {: Thats all ! Takecares peoples(!)

Alvin didi-Chill* im glad t hear something goods in you . Hmmm .. So long didnt met && chat le . Finally you are back ! (; Was so happily msg w you . (: hope to meetupsoonsoonsoon ^^ misses'
Marcus-thanks for one sentence .
Bertrand-Truly thanks alots for the help ! (;

Hellos Hellos Hellos ?! Anyone here is gonna entertain me ? I miss him , im gonna t be mad ! ARGH! Im so bored lyk hell mans ! ): sadded ** hais ! What happening to me 'HUILI' ?! Im frustrated again && agian . What are you getting too over frustrated easily ?! What What Why ?! Im enough of myself alr ! I have been sick of my attitude ! I dnt wanna get angry easily ! I cnt stand it anymore ! I feel lyk killing myself . Hw am i gonna t stop myself frm avoiding/changing all this bad-habits ?! Hw could/cn i stop myself ?! Sigh sigh sigh ! Help me pls ! D: tired*

Hey Guys , i have a good news for 'Ya All' ! I have been selected a job just a few days ago . I have to start work for tml . (: Ewww .. It been so hardly searching , It finally cames . ... Sorry that i nw then infrom ya ! Cos' i have a lil' no confidence in myself . Im afaird that telling so much endup or the last mins lose ? It just happened afew days past , im feeling so stress && down . I thought in my life , i forever/always cnt get a job till whn im old or im die . Eversince i have recieved just a call . Was so shock that i get hired ! ;DD im so glad && excited once i get in ((: Hmmm .. Maybe this time , is god are giving me my last chances to treasure well . So , on this time i must have t seriously work hard alr . I cnnt due t my previous of myself that i didnt knw hw to . I have been a lesson . So i should knw . Everythings in our life , we must used t learn , understand . Nor treasure every in . Esp time is more important . We cnt lose/wasted so much in times . Time cn do almost things . Cos' is a kind of most precious things in our life . In my life , i have learn so much things . So on this age of i am . && i should learn knw hw t think . Ehs . Im nt relying on someone else . Im in independent ! I've learned ! :D "No money , No life!"

(I've found somethings , I have came to realised . Due to previous or the past of myself , i was used to be scolding all those bad vulgarity words . Always using vulgar words . && Became more && more worsen . But now i wasn't ain't using all those bad words . Eversince after this yrs' . I'v been changing . Change not to be rude , not anymore vulgar . At the first place was so hardly to change your used to be words . Ohs , is truth ! So i got to bear && take a control of my words . But now i finally did it ! Is just that you want it or not . Is not anythings , everythings that you can't do it . Is did it on your personal . But is just only when i get angry or frustrated times . I will comes out with those vulgar in my mouth . So this i ain't/can't be control of myself . So have no choice . But is just that i'm glad with one things at least which i am not to be talking any vulgarity && ruled . I hate VULGAR && talking to be RUDE times.(:)

Thanks grace && bertrand for the wishes . (:

Alrights ! (;
i.rly.need.to.sleep.now. Goodnights, with love ;D

270409

Good Morning Everyone ! (;

.. were "I'm always thinking of you".

Here, back, down a long and straight track
I have chose the long road -
That leads me to god knows
So I can't stop right now

Even the good stars can fall from grace and falter
Lose their faith and slide
But I can't get an ocean that's deep enough for my day

It's the first of the ascension
It's a sad way we've flown before the storm
And her last words were 'I'm always thinking of you'
In my olden days I was a slave

Well now it's time for to sound your voice
And capture what your after
My ship was sold right up the river
But I'm not going down here
This journey isn't over
It's a long way to the house of Fate
And her last words were 'I'm always thinking of you'
In my olden days I was a saint

Even the good stars can fall from grace and falter
Like lapdogs that stride that mystery
And her last words were 'I'll see you down in history
It's the only way that we can go I shall eclipse you

It's a long way to Fate
And I don't want to pray for you

And her last words...
I Love You


♥Goodbye

Andy-Thanks alots for your support ! (;
Stanley-Skinny ! (; thanks for reminding one sentence "What yours is yours!" Rly thanks anw . {:

260409

Current mood : Frustrated && Upset
Im lazy to say all abt .
Just simply post 2 pic . (:
Night everyone ! (;

250409

happy birthday t darren didi ! (;

Afternoon ! Ugly ?! I was w/o makeup ! :D
I gt double eyes bag :O

was.so.damn.bored =(
i.am.so.tried .....
BTH ! Cn't stand it alr ! ARGHS !!!
Now adays is rly damn hot till have nth to say ! D:
Feel lyk cutting short hair .
For the examples. Do i look good in this above pic ?
Should i cut lyk above 3 pics' ?
Do i look good in nw e' hair or ?
Gonna stay at home rest fr today . I have been selected for interview.
Tml at orchard towers , 1.30pm interview .
Hopefully , is success ! D:
Wish me good luck for tml ! (;

Love Lockdown - Kayne West



i am so miss you
i cnt stop myself from lovin' you &&
missing you. i just simply lovesyou.
i cnt stand myself for seeing/looking you.
imy damn badly! =(

240409

Current mood:Getting over frustrated!):

Happy birthday t wenkai ! (;Hellos everyone ! (; My internet is back !! ;D
Cos' of my small bro fix it , so thanks him . Miss me ? Damns disgusting rights ?
Haas . Should be . Hmmm ..
Recently get pestering by 2guys . Fucking hell ! Irritating & sickening !
I was over frustrated ,
damns angry && fear.
Today went for job hunting .
Went bugis new shopping center awhile .
Aft that went doby-ghuat , looking for a job .
Aft that went t look for grace . She was w her friend fiona ...
Outside plaza.S smoke && slack awhile .
Then they both have t went back t work le .
&& i have t go home toos . {:
Sigh* cnt even find anyone . Why ?!
Cn tell me why was it ?!
Am i as bad ? Yes , i was .
I was damns regret . Bt , everythings came too late for me .
Aft using this words Regret , is pointless for me .
Maybe is god are punishment me .
Maybe . Cos' previously i didnt treasure my studies , a job , chances
&& everythings in me which is goods .
Thats why i came till today , im here .
Losing everything .
Thats why ! D:
Tried . Im rly tried . There is no turning back .
This life is i chosse to be , this life is i walk out .
I didnt realise this would turn out this way .
Is was i am stupid . Idk hw t think .
Someone say that i always have my mindset , negative thinking .
Did you think i want it ? I myself , ain't want t be hell lyk this .
Bt what ? Everything is turning out this way ,
I have no way no choice t chosse . I gt t be strong .
I gt t walk out this way alone . (independent) You think i want ?
I also dw t endup at here . Hais ! Nobody no-one else will/would knw &&
understand what . NO ! You'll nvr understand !
If only you could see..
I have no confidence in everythings !
Bt ; "It's my life"
I always think of ending my life soon . I shouldn't continue .
It pointless ! No life , i has ! My life is meaningless !
I always pretend that im strong , happy && good .
Bt i knw all was fake ! Faking a smile !
I wasn't a nice && good person . Yes , always take things for granted .
Is unlucky that Ya All have met me till this days .
Im sorry for being here .
I was so hopeless , no wishes & failure !

While it comes to r/s , everythings was fake .
Always giving me a best wrong idea .
Always giving me a best hurtful .
Always giving me a best painful .
I rly have phobia in everythings .
Why ?! Sigh ! Why does my life goes failed in everything ?!
Why was it was ?!

Andy-thanks for being here anw . {:
Potato-Sorry . Is rly a big "SORRY SORRY" for you ! Hope you wont angry w me . (: Cos' this adays im rly very tried && nt enough sleep . ps.

230409

Happy birthday to bertrand ! :D

LOLS . :D this 2 fellow was taken by me . MUHAHAHAS ^^
Hey Guys , im so sorry that some of the msg i didnt replied . Is cnt reply . My hp have some sort of occurs in btw . Anw , i just get a new spare hp frm bertrand . Thanks ya ! (; Anw , msg i wont be reply offten . Cos' im broke soon !! D;

Hellos ! (;
Im back everyone ! Ps. && a sorry .
Imma nw at my bro house . Hais ! My house internet is spoil ! D:
Ytd afternoon was so sudden that my melvin erzi call me .
I didnt expect that he will . Bt , he does .
Cos' i thought previously he was still angry w me .
Thought was ending . Bt it wasn't . Im glad that he call . :D
...was abt 5pm , i went enous alone for interview .
Aft that went back home for changing . && rest awhile .
Until 7pm plus , went out t took bus155 t tpy huiyee babe house .
Was abt 8pm reached . So , went up her house && sit awhile en' she is hungry .
Gg down tpy-bishan && eat . && meet melvin erzi awhile . ..
So at huiyee babe her gan didi bertrand house void-deck have a chit chat awhile !! ;D
It been a long times didnt see melvin erzi le . Was quite glad t see him anw . (:
Aft that betrand came down . Awhile ltr , melvin erzi w his one friend have t g luhs .
So we huiyee babe , bertrand && me went kopitiam && accompany huiyee babe t eat .
She hors . Sigh* babe is sick . She is feeling nt well enough . && tried .
Huiyee babe-Must rly do takecares alots of yourself ok . Nw adays of weather is rly bad . Hot weather anw . Drink lots of water && eat alots . You are damns skinny thin && small size . Dnt always so late slp . Might be tired yourself de . Anythings just must becareful of that guy , ok ? No matter what i will be stand by you && my melvin erzi . Get well soon ! (;
&& thanks for uncle good talks t me . Bertrand , thanks alots toos . {:
Thanks for all anw ((:
I gg le . Maybe ltr my friend marcus is coming looking for me or melvin erzi && his friend thomas have t ride bicycle down t my place && meet me le . Hahaha. Crazy them =='
takecares peoples ! Will be updating soon w pic .
Cheryl mei-imy ! ):
Xinli-Get well soon ! (;
Loves'

Why does my life is so hard ?
Why am i torturing myself ?
Why ? Cn somebody pls tell me why was it was ?
Im rly tried ! Tired of my life .
I should just leave , aint it ?
Is pointless for keeping living in my life .
I was a no life !
My life is meaningless .....
i dnt understand

220409

Good afternoon ! (;
Ytd was abt 3pm plus went t city plaza alone for interview .
Sigh* Guess there is no hope bahs . Aft that , went home .
.....
Was abt 7pm plus , marcus called me .
He say he coming over my place t find me .
... 8.30pm g down chit chat awhile && ltr the 2-fellow have t g lor18
t find friends awhile ltr 10pm then come back agian ==
.. 10pm he call me && say that he is back at my house void-deck .
So , i went down && accompany them t ton .
...Was abt 12am plus , i wanted t went aljunied mac && have my apple-pie .
So walk to there have our supper ..
Aft our supper , walk back t my house area && slack .
Emo emo emo !! D;
Was abt 3am plus , Xinli(marcus cousin) called ! :D
So have a chat awhile , aft he have t went home bath & sleep .
Aft that i was feeling better . .....
3 of us are tried . So 6am we have t g home .
Thanks for they both andy && marcus to be my listening ear . {:

Xinli-GET WELL GET WELL GET WELL SOON ! (; Misses'
Cheryl mei-Loves'
Andy-dnt think too much ya ! (; thanks alots uhs . (L)
Marcus-dnt think too much toos ! (; everything soon will be alrights . Thanks anw ((:
Jacq baby-Cheerups !

210409

Hey Guys , Guess my msg will be just ok for temporary . Might be happen agains for sometimes && a days . D: so anythings nw cn try t contact me . Bt call me up is better than msg . Msg might be have some occurs . Thanks . {:LOLS . :D lappy camera is nice shotting ((:That idiot long wanna take a snap frm me !! ;DI still rmb , whn i was in pri sch times . I always love t eat this . D;Hellos loves' ! :D haas . It been a long time that we didnt even take pic tgt le . I missed !!Hi , Good-morning ! (; back t post for ytd . (:
ARGH! I hate the weather !!! Is damns super-hot lors . Hot till hell alr .
I cnt stand it anymore . Bth !! I HATE I HATE IT DAMNS !!!
This adays keep on getting easily over frustrated . Just dk why .
SIGH SIGH SIGH ~ I hate my hp . Im getting over it ! Keeping on
giving me much troubles !! D; I wants work ! I wants money !! I wants money ,
so i cn get what i want . Sadded ** hais !
Ytd was abt 6pm reached bedok inter && meet grace .
Awhile ltr , aft my smoke . Went t take bus87 t hougang t look for jacq baby .
...Was abt 7pm we reaching her place . So at her void-deck && wait for her come down .
.. While she came down w her laptop . Ohs , goossh ..... Her face was so pale .
Hais ! Cos' she was crying over abt her r/s problems . Fucking hell lahs !
My baby cry till lyk this ...... Awhile ltr , the long keep on calling .
WTH/F ?! Cnt stand him mans ! He keep on wanna come t find me .
=.=" so troublesome . ... Sat is they both take num frm me .
Then sun he w baoqiang came city hall && meet . Then ytd still wanna meet .
Everyday meet me , wont feel dying ?! LOLS . :D was damns crazy .
ARGHS !!!!! == ..... He took so long && come . Wth mans !
So was abt 8.30pm plus he reach . He came alone . ..... Slack till 10pm plus .
&& we all is tried && have t g luhs . He is more tried .
So grace walk another side && take her bus . Then jacq baby have t went up her house
to rest le . Me && long have t went another side t take bus112 t inter .
.. At bus chit chat till reached inter . He accompany me t my bus stop .
Awhile ltr , my bus80 is coming . So have a high five hand t him ! ;DD
Thanks anw . {:

Jacq baby-pls dnt think too much , alrights ? Rmb always tml have a sun . :D Guys is always lyk that de la ! Damns them !! Cry it out might be good for you . Lets cry it out will be making you feeling better ya ! (; Anythings just tell us . We'll always be there for you . {:
Long-thanks anw . {: Dnt think too much lahs ! Stress have another ways t slove . && i hate your calling . :D

Sigh*
Friendship cames ?
I dnt wanna to Cares' anymore !
Im rly very too tried .
It killing me , my head .